


It's In Your Arms

by TarTarIcing



Category: Grand Theft Auto V
Genre: Agent 14 is forward, Crack, Crack Relationships, Crack Treated Seriously, Don't read, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, M/M, Male!assistant is a cinnamon roll, The protagonists are idiots, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This is Bad, Why Did I Write This?, very forward
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:21:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28805742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TarTarIcing/pseuds/TarTarIcing
Summary: A business blunder involving yearly documentation has Agent 14 and the SecuroServ assistant meeting. Have the Balla Bees played cupid?
Relationships: Agent 14/Male!Assistant
Kudos: 1





	1. There was Paperwork?

The Balla Bees came back from their holiday in Peach County to start their businesses again. Well, Ricardo and Ayla went to the town of Avalon where all men grilled at the same time and all the women walked their animals at the same time like clockwork. It was a creepy private property utopia and they were happy to be back in Los Santos. Darryl took his parents to Schmickeyland and the peach groves. After all the decadence and food, it was back to work.

Ayla was a short olive-skinned woman in a pink dress and white hoodie. After a half day at the meth lab, she drove down to her nightclub, called KK Omega. Brushing her bob back, she skittered into her office, seeing Gay Tony typing out a paper.

“ **Maganda hapon, Tony! Kumusta sa pasko nyo** \- Oh shit, sorry!” Ayla greeted Tony, giving a wave, but crumpling back, “Good afternoon, Tony. How was your Christmas?” She chuckled nervously.

“Oh don’t worry about it,” Tony gave a dismissive hand wave, “I’ve dealt with your language mix ups enough to answer. To answer, good afternoon and yes my Christmas was good. I’m assuming yours was good too?”

“Oh yes, it was great. Avalon is such a beautiful city but it can be too sterile,” Ayla replied, sitting in her chair and crunching a few numbers, “But hey, we gotta get back to work now!” 

“Yes!” Tony hollered in agreement, “Avalon’s fucking creepy though.” She started a promotional activity of playing music from a blimp, praying to god that the flying bikes don’t hit her.

Ricardo, also known as Rick to his loved ones, went back to oversee the Vanilla Unicorn. He stood at five eleven and was a lean tanned man of a few words. He also wore white Air Forces and a tan military jumpsuit with a red shirt underneath. After a few clicks on his computer, he rode his Scramjet to do a few shipments for Ron at Fort Zancudo.

“Hey there, Rick!” Ron popped in, wearing a red sweater far too worn for the holiday, “How was Christmas?”

“Good, got to see my family in Avalon. Ate their delicious Filipino cooking,” Rick answered, getting out of his Avenger.

“I don’t like Avalon. It’s too Stepford… ish.”

“Ah yes, you and me both.” Rick went to see his money back down at his money laundering business.

Darryl rode from his parents’ apartment in Little Seoul to his high rise apartment near Maze Bank tower. His red and white Toreador shone in the sun as he got up to get his laundry out. He emerged with a new three-piece suit. He took his Toreador into the ocean in his Kosatka, greeting Pavel.

“Hi kapitan! How was your Christmas?” Pavel dusted the control panels.

“Good,” Darryl answered, casually shooting a man on a flying bike that was heading towards Ayla with a missile, “Schmickeyland is nice. I hope you didn’t get lonely.”

“Don’t worry, I called my family,” Pavel answered, “Russia tried making their own Schmickeyland, but there were too many rats for it to even work out.”

“I hope that was enough.”

The Balla Bees then reunited in the Paleto Forest bunker. It was six in the afternoon. They exchanged stories of Avalon and what presents they got. Ayla talked about her Schmickeyland merch while Rick talked about a ham radio set and Darryl talked about how his parents still saw him as a poor college kid.

“Like I tell mom, I own my business in shipping, I don’t need you to come into Cluckin’ Bell and yell at my manager!” Darryl laughed.

“It’s like I tell mine, ‘ **Nanay** , **wag na ng ala ng pasok ko**. Just be glad you’re in Avalon!”’” Rick exchanged his own tidbit. “I wouldn’t bring Ron to meet her though.”

“It’s true, she thought my Schmickey ears were too much. She’d get a heart attack if she met Gay Tony!” Ayla cackled, slapping her knee.They then got to work, stealing supplies. After a hectic chase from cops and people on flying bikes, they returned with almost a full bunker of supplies. They stood around, with Ayla waving at the R&D team, Rick discussing numbers with another engineer, and Darryl jotting stats on the board. After the supplies were fully in, they were going to call it a night.

Until their phones rang at the same time. All with Agent 14 at the screen.

“You answer!” Ayla gasped, “He scares me.”

“Can I call dibs?” Darryl asked.

“No, you don’t own the bunker so that makes no sense,” Rick was confused, looking at Darryl’s phone, “Look, I’ll answer on speaker. Stay quiet.” He turned the speaker on and answered the call. “We all got the supplies, what’s the big deal?” Ayla and Darryl held their breath. 

“Hey, I know you stole all those supplies and you’re all tired, but I forgot this one thing,” Agent 14 rang in.

“What _one_ thing?” Rick raised his eyebrow in suspicion.

“If it’s the gun range, we cleaned that,” Ayla hazarded a guess.

“It’s not the gun range.”

“Is it the security?” Darryl tried his own guess.

“No.”

“Then what is it?” Rick was even more confused.

“It’s… The yearly paperwork. I forgot to get it. Is it anywhere in the bunker?” Agent 14 sighed, with Mrs. Rackman’s shouting in the background.

“Paperwork?” Ayla joined Rick in confusion, “I heard nothing about paperwork.”

“Oh shit, I know,” Darryl added in, “It’s in my CEO office at Maze Bank West. Should I get it?”

“No, we’ll all meet in the bunker and you can show me where in your CEO office that paperwork is. I’ll see you.” Agent 14 hung up. The Balla Bees looked at themselves and shrugged.

Agent 14 arrived in an unmarked vehicle. He greeted them all and then piled themselves in Darryl’s Toreador.

“How was your Christmas, Agent 14?” Ayla asked.

“Very good, now I gotta go run but I’m assuming the rest of you had great Christmases?” Agent 14 replied, sitting shotgun to Darryl.

“We went to Avalon, somewhere in Peach County,” Rick added.

“People live in Avalon?” Agent 14 raised his eyebrow, “That place is more expensive than Los Santos!”

“Rick bought his folks a home there,” Darryl explained. The car ride was filled with Ayla’s giggly rendition of Backstreet Boys. A few boosts down the highway later, they arrived at the Maze Bank West tower. They all buzzed themselves into the CEO office.

The Balla Bees then gave Agent 14 a tour of the office, from the TV, to the view, to the gun locker, the map of Los Santos, the living quarters, the heist office, and the filing room. But before they even got to the filing room, the assistant got up out of his chair and went to Darryl.

“Boss! Warstock wants to speak with you, they want you to do a promotion with them!” The assistant eagerly handed the phone to Darryl. Darryl then went to the heist room to speak, with the other two buzzing in. The assistant sat back down on his desk, typing away. Agent 14 then followed him, standing up in front of him. “May I help you, sir?” The assistant sat up, turning away from his computer.

“Well, answer me this,” Agent 14 crossed his arms, cocking his head towards the other man, “How’s some handsome man like you a secretary?”

The male assistant blushed heavily, giggling behind a raised hand, “I’m an _executive_ assistant to the boss! And this is holiday weight!”

“Oh come on!” Agent 14 pointed at him, “How did someone so _cute_ get into SecuroServ?”

“Stop it, I’m at work, the boss could see me any minute!” The assistant lifted a folder up to his face, slapping the IAA agent’s hand away with the other.

“Oh feisty aren’t you?” He pulled the folder off to see the other’s blushing face, “Just let me get a closer look at you… SecuroServ chose well. And so did Darryl here.” He leaned into the assistant, who was red as a tomato.

“...The fuck?” Darryl peeked his head out the door, with Rick and Ayla below.

“... I don’t know what to feel about this,” Rick whispered.

“Should we tell them?”

“Shhh!” Ayla shushed them, “They’re about to look.” They closed the door silently. 

“Do you want your yearly bunker paperwork?” The assistant sputtered, regaining his cool.

“Yes, that’s what I was here for,” Agent 14 answered.

“I know where they are, come with me,” The assistant got up and led the agent to the filing cabinets. He grabbed a box labeled ‘ _Bunker 2020_ ’, lifted it, and put it in the agent’s hands. The Balla Bees reopened the door to look again.

“I didn’t know it was a box of paperwork!” Rick whispered.

“...Should we help them?” Ayla’s voice raised in concern.

“I think they got it, it’s only three boxes worth,” Darryl replied.

“But still-” Ayla replied. They then closed the door again.

“Wow, you’re pretty strong!” Agent 14 commented on how well the assistant was holding two boxes worth of bunker paperwork. 

“Well I work out a lot,” the assistant chuckled, “It’s so easy in Los Santos!”

“I know right!” Agent 14 replied, “It’s great to run in the sun!”

“I guess we have that in common!” They both chuckled to each other. The crew tiptoed out stone-faced down the stairs and to Darryl’s Toreador.

They all met at the car, with Darryl taking the last box and sending the assistant off. The crew and the agent sat again in the Toreador and shuttled back to the bunker. 

“It’s nice you have a great assistant, Darryl,” Agent 14 sat shotgun, face glowing in excitement.

“It is,” Darryl struggled to not laugh.

“ **Hindi ng kakaron ito. Sira ng ulo ng Agent 14?** ” Rick whispered to Ayla in the backseat.

“ **Hindi ng alam ko. Sira ng ulo ng assistant sa Darryl?** ” Ayla answered.

“ **Bakla na sila?** ” They shrugged their shoulders in response.

“Sounds like you had a good time there,” Darryl still struggled to not laugh.

“I did, very much. I even got his number.” Agent 14 added, “He sounds like a great running buddy.” He had a smile on his face. The crew all had blank expressions, and maintained them going into the bunker. And loading the boxes of paper work in the unmarked vehicle. And seeing him drive off.

Upon closing the bunker, the trio broke out into laughter. 

“This is a total minfuck!” Darryl started, “It’s trippy to see my assistant get up, but even trippier to see Agent 14 hit on him!”

“I know!” Ayla guffawed even harder, “Seeing a really blissful Agent 14 just… makes me astrally project!”

“My assistant being a blushing mess is just so weird, man!”

“It’s not that they’re being gay, but it’s like… This is how our businesses are interacting, like really what the fuck? It’s so awkward I don’t know what to say. Like flirting? In our CEO office?” Rick really lost it.

“It’s more likely than we think!” Darryl added. They all absolutely lost it, with all the bunker staff looking at them like they’re deranged.

They called it a night, with Rick and Ayla staying at Fort Zancudo and Darryl staying at his apartment. 

Another sun rose up, as the floating rock has yet to stop spinning and revolving. All three departed to take care of their businesses. Ayla took care of her meth lab. Darryl gathered vehicles. Rick stole more supplies for his bunker. Luckily for him, it was an easy matter to tackle individually. Sitting on the hood of his blue weaponized Tampa, he soaked in the sun. His jacket was tied on his waist, revealing his tanned skin. He was parked on the end of Chumash pier, fishing rod in tow. 

Fish weren’t in much of a mood to bite today. Or at this season.

Rick’s sunglasses reflected off the sun perfectly, reminding him that sometimes all that privilege is too much sometimes. And that some things stay the same no matter what, like his predilection towards fishing alone or his family’s desire to work or Ayla’s love and optimism. Sometimes he wondered what it’d be like to go perfectly legal and only handle the Vanilla Unicorn. He then felt a tug on his fishing rod, and then another, and another in increasing intensity. He instinctively reeled in response. 

On the hook was a crab and an off-white brick. He incredulously looked at the brick as he put the crab in his bucket. It was a large crab that dwarfed the two small mackerels in it. The brick was wrapped in plastic with packing tape on it. It felt packed and powdery as he patted it. White dust came out of it, feeling a brief high that made him clutch his bucket close. 

Cocaine.

He dropped the brick in the bucket and froze. There was a sudden gust of wind that nudged him back on his Tampa. Someone was running drugs. Putting the bucket between his thighs, he pulled out his sniper rifle, zooming in at the sky before him. And he saw it.

A young woman on a MKII Oppressor shouting swears and flipping him off. This meant trouble and it had to be done fast. Rick zoomed in on her and gave a few shots. He landed a headshot on her and the flying bike fell into the water. He put the bucket back down and kept zooming in with the scope. No flying vehicles and no angry people. No yachts, submarines, or dinghies. No Strombergs or Toreadors. All quiet out in the ocean. He focused his sights on the immediate beach. Just normal people doing normal things.

But wait.

He stopped to see two people running together. A white man and a Latino man were a little close for comfort, but they were just running along the coast.

Agent 14 and the assistant managed to meet up and have a beach run.

“For someone who took a break for the holidays, you’re not doing too bad!” Agent 14 called over to the assistant, who was just next to him. They were both in shirts and leggings. 

“I could say the same to you!” The assistant called back, “The sand’s a bitch though.”

“You get used to it.”

“I know, I know,” The assistant gave a dismissive hand wave, “I’ve done enough ocean swims already.” 

“How far have we gone already?” Agent 14 wondered aloud.

“Ten miles?” The assistant looked down at his watch. Agent 14 leaned into him, looking at his watch.

“Mine says the same thing,” Agent 14 looked at his watch, “Well what do you know, we have matching watches!”

“Watch buddies!” The assistant gave a high five. Agent 14 leapt back, flustered. “What?”

“Matt, this is the first time you actually touched me!” Agent 14 stammered. They both stopped.

“C’mon, Chris... Is the running getting to you?” Matt Torres, the assistant gave a little grip on the other’s hand.

“No… Matt, I…” Agent 14, aka Chris Chase, “Dammit.” He started to lose his cool.

Rick kept zooming in, intrigued at the scene of his two businesses interacting. He used his drone to take a photo. He sent the photo to the rest of the crew. 

Chris sat in his IAA cubicle, just still steaming from the high five. He held his head in his hands, still blushing. The document on his computer still remains blank. 

“Are you okay there?” Mrs. Rackman asked him, “You’ve been staring at the computer for FIVE minutes.”

“Yeah, I am…” Agent 14 sighed, “Just a hard run.”

“Yeah, this run is gonna be harder if you don’t stop slackin’.” He started to type languidly. He could still feel his heart thumping in his chest.

Matt was at the CEO office processing some vehicle cargo. His legs still felt weak from the run. He was on the phone with another client, where he let out a huff every few words. “I swear, a contract is a contract… Agh. I mean I don’t care if there’s something tomorrow, the vehicle needs to be here!”

The client hung up. Matt reclined in his chair. Darryl asks what’s going on.

“I had a long run.” Matt sighed, “It’s the first time I ran in a while.” Darryl nodded his head and went on his way. 

The Balla Bees had a group call later on today. 

“The fuck was that picture, Rick?” Darryl asked.

“That’s what I found today at Chumash,” Rick replied.

“Ooooh, something’s brewing!” Ayla squealed.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Rick replied, “I wonder what this means for our business.”

“Maybe it’s not on a professional level,” Ayla added.

“Well that’s gonna get hairy in terms of arms dealing if this keeps going,” Darryl said, “Or easier, depends.”

“Well it’s cute regardless,” Ayla muttered dreamily.

“Ayla!” Darryl and Rick yelled. 

The next few days were rough. The crew ran a tight ship on their businesses with a full city. There were flying bikes everywhere and crazy people riding them. Agent 14 and the assistant couldn’t meet at all, leaving them both frustrated. Actually, everyone was frustrated. No one can speak to each other in person and all communication was text or call. 

The crew had a goal to have supplies filled to the brim, and they were fulfilling that many times over. They were driving and flying like mad. And no one was sleeping and living off of P’s and Q’s and Sprunk. However, there was a window of opportunity when the crew decided to do a late night meth sale. 

Agent 14 went to the Maze Bank CEO tower in an unmarked vehicle. He buzzed himself in, bringing a bottle of wine. The assistant sat in his chair, eyes sunken and visibly tired. However, his eyes lit up at the sight of the IAA agent.

“Hey babe,” Agent 14 greeted him, reaching out for a hug, “I came as fast as possible when you texted me.”

“Don’t call me that,” The assistant softly chuckled, hugging him back, “But goddammit I need that wine.”

And so they popped off the cork and started with a few glasses of wine. 

“So you’re telling me that you got hit by a branch when you were a kid?” Matt took a sip of wine.

“Yup, a whole branch flew at me,” Chris did his sip, “Sometimes when I close my eyes I can still feel that thing.” They crept closer to each other on the couch. They both laughed.

“And you found multiple bricks of cocaine as a kid in Mexico because you wanted to make a fort?” Chris shot back.

“Yeah my mom was so mad, she hit me and my brothers with her **chancla** . But let me tell you, it’s a damn fine fort!” Matt gave a flick of his wrist towards the window showing city lights. They laughed again, hands creeping towards each other. They sat in silence for a while. The term dating wasn’t something they’d use but it felt like it. Between shifts at work, they were workout buddies, sent greeting texts, gave hugs and kisses, and shared some pretty close secrets. They also ate out together when they could. Operative word, _could_. 

For an IAA agent, Chris could still feel the butterflies with Matt. So many things he could fight through, but this? This was scary.

Matt always felt so gooey with Chris. He’d always be a blushing and babbling mess of some sort, but he was able to get a handle on it. He didn’t expect to feel something like this from work.

But work always got in the way for both of them. And they were dedicated men to their jobs.

They started to hold hands, with Matt blushing. They started to face each other, eyes locked on each other. Chris’s icy blue to Matt’s warm brown. They couldn’t help but smile at each other. Chris crossed his arms, with his hands playing with the sleeve of his jacket. He started blushing too, grabbing the nape of Matt’s neck and drawing him in for a kiss. It wasn’t their first kiss but it felt like it. Their lips brushed against each other before they started using tongue. Matt hugged Chris in. It was warm and comforting, hugging and kissing like this. Chris pulled the other’s waist in. 

It was nice, to not be professionals and just be, well, a couple.

They separated after a few minutes, with both of them panting. It was a miracle their hands weren’t running over each other’s bodies. They still stayed close.

“Hey, Chris, I…” Matt finally spoke.

“You, what…?” Chris replied.

“I… I…”

“You, you what? Wh-what is it, Matt?”

“I… uh…” The assistant’s eyes darted across the room.

“Spit it out, Matt, I’m here!” Agent 14’s voice had a hint of annoyance, “It’s okay, just say it.”

“Shit… nevermind,” Matt shook his head.

“Okay, mind if I say something?” Chris asked.

“Sure, I won’t judge.”

“Matt, I…” His voice trailed off, “Matt… Matthew… Oh goddammit…”

“Chris, take your time.”

“I… Fuck.” They broke their embrace, only trying to spit words out.

“It’s okay.”

“I… I lo-, oh fuck!” Agent 14 facepalmed, “I can’t do this.” He held his head in his hands.

“I’m sorry,” Matt whispered.

“It’s not your fault, Matt. It’s no one’s fault.”

“I’m sorry for being weak,” Matt choked back tears.

“No, no…” Chris pulled Matt into his arms, “It’s the nature of our jobs. We can’t be too attached. I’m a protected government agent and you’re an executive assistant for a private security company. We both work for the same three degenerates here in Los Santos.”

“I’m sorry, when my brother came out of the closet, my mom gave him hell. I can’t do this either. I’ve so much at stake after I left stock trading,” Matt began to cry.

“I’m so sorry, my folks don’t care so that… hurts me,” Chris wiped his tears and leaned in for a kiss. But it felt hypocritical so he let go of the other man. 

Agent 14 and the assistant sat on opposite ends of the couch. The assistant was bawling and grabbing tissues. Agent 14 crossed his arms and sat stewing in his anger and disappointment. The crying hurt too much so the agent left, leaving with a soft pat on the assistant’s shoulder.

The assistant stayed the night in the tower.

The next morning the Balla Bees had begun their final full business shift. They started with a vehicle sale from the warehouse. They buzzed themselves into the CEO tower to start the sale. All three shuffled forward to see the assistant’s head on his arms folded on the desk. Darryl and Rick silently went forward while Ayla tapped the assistant’s shoulder.

“ **Ay nako!** Are you okay? What happened?” Ayla gasped as the disarrayed assistant.

“I’m fine boss, just a shitty night.” The assistant brushed his hair back and started to type.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, go make some money, bosses.” He quietly sat up and typed stuff in. The crew shrugged their shoulders and sold an entire warehouse of vehicles. The assistant morosely gave orders and limply gave praise as they did it.

“At least you fulfilled something, unlike me to someone I’ve known…” The assistant’s final remark sent shivers down their spine.

It didn’t feel right to them, but what could they do?

The crew then started selling enough arms to fill their bunker. Agent 14 buzzed in their phones.

“Buckle your seatbelts, it's gonna get heartbreaking. Merryweather got wind of these sales, so expect them to show up and gun you down. The important thing is the weapons get to the drops." They swore they heard a sniffle follow that message.

While they have been rapid in delivery, Ayla got cornered and the other two had to rescue her, costing them time.

“Hurry it up… so I can have alcohol in my system,” Agent 14 quipped rather slowly.

“He sounds so sad…” Ayla pouted.

“We can worry about that later,” Rick set her right, “We need to drop one more cargo.”

“You know this is kinda depressing,” Darryl added, “I never heard either of them so sad before.” After a few run-ins with Merryweather, they finished the cargo.

“Looks like you gave out... to the right people too... I don’t know if they use them right, but knowing them I hope they keep their promises. Unlike someone I know,” Agent 14 weakly congratulated them. A pop of a beer bottle and chugging sounds followed. The entire crew grimaced at the last remark. 

“Jesus I’m not sure if I wanna know what happened between them,” Rick gasped. They nodded in agreement. Ayla ordered some fruit baskets to both Agent 14 and the assistant, unmarked at Darryl’s advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations (from Tagalog and Spanish):  
>  **Maganda hapon, Tony! Kumusta sa pasko nyo** = Good Afternoon, Tony! How was your Christmas?  
>  **Nanay, wag na ng ala ng pasok ko** = Mom, don't worry about my job  
>  **Hindi ng kakaron ito. Sira ng ulo ng Agent 14?** = I don't understand. Is Agent 14 crazy?  
>  **Hindi ng alam ko. Sira ng ulo ng assistant sa Darryl?** = I don't know. Is Darryl's assistant crazy?  
>  **Bakla na sila?** = Are they gay?  
>  **Chancla** = Sandal  
>  **Ay nako** = My goodness!


	2. Away at Cayo Perico!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Balla Bees are gone, what are Agent 14 and the assistant to do?

After a day of rest and relaxation, the Balla Bees got ready to rob Cayo Perico. Rick managed to obtain a submarine and do the heist prep work.

“I see you’re all good, yes?” Pavel buzzed into the comms. The crew nodded in agreement. They sailed away to the island and spent a good time robbing the place.

And for the first time in a while, both Agent 14 and the assistant had days off. But given what happened, they weren’t sure if it was a blessing or a curse.

Agent 14 was confined to the office doing paperwork. He was listless and rarely spoke. Mrs. Rackman noticed this change.

“What is going on with you? You usually blaze past the paperwork!” She peeked over his cubicle, to see him slowly typing.

“I’m fine, Mrs. Rackman,” Agent 14 slurred, “Totally fucking fine, Mrs. Rackman.”

“You are NOT fine, fourteen,” She saw past the answer, “First you look stoned and now you just look depressed. You can tell me.”

“I’d rather not.” He languidly typed away.

“You know what, come in my office.”

“Aw, shit.” They went into Mrs. Rackman’s office. 

“Have a seat,” She sat at her desk while Agent 14 took the chair in front. “What’s troubling you, Chris?” The usage of the first name meant something serious.

“It’s none of your business, Phoenicia,” Agent 14 muttered.

“People are talking, Chris. After all the shit you’ve pulled, they are vultures looking for a snack. It is my business to look out for you. After all, I’m the reason you’re still here. And plus you’re a good guy so you don’t deserve to have your heart tossed around like that!”

“Gee… Thanks.” He blankly stated.

“Don’t push it.”

“Well… I met someone.”

“Color me surprised! I thought you’d marry your running shoes or your running times,” She turned her nose up in amusement.

“I met someone gunrunning and he was working too. He likes running and so we became… buddies.”

“He? Has hell frozen over?” She backtracked, “I kid, I kid. That’s kind of nice.”

“It was, and we bonded. But we can’t make it official. Because of our fucked up jobs, we can’t fucking say it. It just… upsets me. All I wanted from him to say that he loves me but I can’t tell him I love him either.” He buried his head in his hands.

“I’m curious here… Is it one of the degenerates that we keep working with?” She pulled up Darryl’s and Rick’s files.

“No. Neither of them. I love someone totally out of that field. Or loved. I don’t know.”

“Ah, I can see why that would be immensely difficult.” She pulled up files of men tangentially related to the degenerates, and pulled up the SecuroServ files. “Is this your, erm, boyfriend?” She showed Matthew Torres’s profile.

“I’d rather not put labels on that but yes…” Agent 14 was mortified, “I’m scared how you guessed that fast.”

“Connections.” She nodded, “You know how to pick them, Chris. Good taste, but SecuroServ has weird relations with the IAA.”

“Please don’t tell anyone.” There was more mortification in his voice.

“I won’t. I’ll be dismissing you for a few days on mental health reasons.” She patted his shoulder, “Get some rest, agent. You can leave early today.”

“Thanks Mrs. Rackman,” He muttered, getting up and leaving. He went back to his apartment and drank himself silly.

The assistant was working at home, briefly answering calls for vehicles. He was still crying rather often and texting his gay brother everything that happened. 

“Matt, take care of yourself please,” His brother texted him after a barrage of sad texts considering breaking up, “You guys obviously love each other so don’t.”

“Jose, what’s the point if we can’t tell each other ‘I love you’?” Matt texted back as he wrapped himself in a burrito blanket watching Fruit TV. He picked at the fruit basket delivered from an anonymous person. Sniffing it, he ate pieces of it, then texted, “I can’t even say he’s my boyfriend either.”

Jose quickly responded, “Then one of you has to say it. Because that’s what you are, boyfriends. Not buddies, not just friends, boyfriends. Have you guys fucked?”

“NO!” Matt texted and shouted out loud, throwing his phone across the room.

Agent 14 woke up to multiple beer bottles on the floor. He rolled out of bed, dragging the blanket with him. He body-slammed the floor, and lurched forward to his bathroom mirror. He looked like shit. His stubble grew out, the circles under his eyes darkened, and he was pale. In perfect timing, he vomited into the toilet. It was the first time in a long time he drank as much as he did. His head was pounding. He couldn’t count the days he spent sitting, drinking, and checking his phone obsessively.

And sleeping, oh he couldn’t forget that. He held his head in his hand as he walked towards the kitchen. And his kitchen had even more beer bottles. Luckily he found a seat and through the haze he ordered himself some Cluckin’ Bell. At least fried chicken could cure his hangover and temporarily his heart. 

After checking his phone for any signs of Matt, he heard a doorbell ring. He opened to see two packages instead of one. One was his food and the other looked like a basket. He took both in and ate his chicken.

Nothing said comfort like fat, meat, and carbs. He tossed the wrapper in this trash and gathered all the beer bottles into the recycle bin. From his phone, he set his choomba to clean the floors and started to look for any more signs of Matt. Seeing nothing again, he shrugged his shoulders and took a shower. He chucked his clothes in the hamper and dressed in flannel PJ’s and a dark robe. He curled up on the couch and took a nap.

He slept for a good two hours until his phone rang. He darted up in hopes of him, but only saw Mrs. Rackman’s face instead. Disappointed, he answered with a slurred, “Hellooooo?”

“I called to check up on you,” She replied, voice free of disdain.

“Oh, I’m resting. Yeah, resting,” He ended his sentence sadly, eyes on the floor.

“That’s good. I know it hurts, so there’s a potluck and we’re gonna send food.”

“I thought you already did that,” He looked at the basket, “Like in a basket?”

“No?” Her voice rose in confusion, “That’s not ours.”

“It isn’t?”

“Hell no!”

“Oh,” He sighed, opening up the basket, “Okay that ain’t yours. It’s… fruit.” It was a fruit basket that had the tag: ‘ _ Cheer up! _ ’ “You don’t do fruit.”

“Yeah, that’s not us, but hey someone else is thinking of you.” She hung up. He looked at the fruit, wondering who the hell would send this. After a pensive stare, he ate the honeydew off of it. It was clearly the healthiest thing he had this week.

The next day there was a lot of rain. The assistant, at his brother’s instance, went back to the Maze Bank tower to take calls. He was in a casual outfit, slacks, hoodie, and a polo. He believed the boss wouldn’t allow him to dress like this, but he was off to Cayo Perico. Coffee in hand, he felt a little bit more normal.

Agent 14 was playing Righteous Slaughter and finishing off the rest of the basket. The sounds of flying bikes, missiles, and rain blended in with the game. He did his laundry and now was waiting for it to dry. His heart felt a little better with every kill. The dark robe reflected the grey skies rather well.

Just as he saw another victory, his doorbell rang. He put down the controller and darted to the door. He peeked through the lens to see Mrs. Rackman and the entire department. Shit. He brushed his hair back and opened it.

“Surprise!” The IAA chorused to him as they held an entire doggy bag worth of food. A random person followed with ‘ _ Shut the fuck up!’  _ and another, ‘ _ I’m trying to jack off in here! _ ’ 

“Gee, thanks…” He replied, grabbing the bag.

“You look like shit,” An agent said to him, “They weren’t kidding.”

“My worst day is your best day, man,” He shot back.

“You alright?” Another agent asked.

“I’m… surviving,” He replied.

“We miss you, Agent 14, get well soon,” Mrs. Rackman spoke, dropping a cupcake in there, “Give the man his space, let’s get out of here.” They scattered afterwards, leaving the beleaguered agent alone. He closed the door.

There was a shit ton of food in this bag. Like way too much. Then he had an idea. He got dressed, took the food into his car, and drove to Maze Bank tower. He pressed the buzzer.

The assistant let out a yelp as he heard the buzzer rang. Were the bosses back from Cayo Perico? This soon, at this weather? Who could be ringing at this time? Was it some prankster on a flying bike? A prankster on a stealth helicopter? A prankster with a tank? He opened the camera to see  _ him. _ His heart pounded with a mix of indignation and excitement. He let him in out of sheer curiosity.

“What are you doing here?” He stood up, glaring at Agent 14, “After that shitshow, after the audacity…?”

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Agent 14 stuttered.

“So? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“Yeah but my supervisor threw the dog a bone this time. Aren’t you supposed to be off?”

“I am, but I still take the bosses’ calls. They need their vehicles, you know.”

“At Cayo Perico?” 

“Weirdly enough Pegasus serves there.”

“I got food…” Agent 14 put down the doggy bag, “The IAA paid me a visit.”

“We’re a thing to them?” The assistant gasped.

“My supervisor took some departmental potluck food. And she made me spill. She kept it confidential,” Agent 14 followed nervously.

“SecuroServ doesn’t like fraternization, but going IAA is sus. I’m not going to lie, I couldn’t stop thinking about you either. I couldn’t bear to be locked up at home, and also my gay brother told me I shouldn’t wallow there either.”

“Good brother.”

“Let’s see what’s in that doggy bag anyway. I’m starving.” They both went over to the table and split the food in two. Agent 14 changed the channel to Weazel news, watching the poorer folks on flying bikes and helicopters kill each other in the rain. 

“Nothing wrong with a little vehicular slaughter,” Matt giggled as he ate some macaroni salad. Someone ran over another person and they couldn’t help but giggle at the sight. 

“Wow, what a little bitch,” Chris chuckled at the sight of one man shooting another man flying down on a parachute. 

“That’s so cheap.” They moved closed together. 

They then found the sight of someone beaching their submarine a little amusing. Moving closer together as they finished their roasted beef.

A flying Sasquach, a comically large monster truck, then hopped across the freeway and onto Maze Bank arena. Then an apocalypse ZR380 flew in as well, bouncing off the monster truck and onto the impound area. They looked in disbelief and each other in disbelief and scooched closer. The green beans seemed a little stale but food was food.

Multiple submarines were now beached on Vespucci. Those without ran around like idiots. Then suddenly in a flash, a laser descended from the heavens and obliterated everyone on that coast.

“HOLY SHIT!” Both screamed and leapt into each other, dropping their utensils. They sat in silence. The channel quickly went into commercials and they picked up the cupcake. 

“Oh, that’s yours.” Matt let go of the cupcake and put in Chris’s hand.

“No, you have it,” Chris put the cupcake in Matt’s hand, “I’ve enough carbs.”

“You’re smaller than me, here.” It was true. Matt was about a few inches taller and somewhat bulkier than Chris.

“No, no, no, you have it. You’re the gentle giant here.” Matt patted Chris’s head.

“Your supervisor gave it to you, it’s yours.” Matt’s hand then moved to Chris’s hand. “Really.”

“I’ve a better idea.” Chris stood up and grabbed a knife from the doggy bag. He split the cupcake and cut off the icing. They then ate their portions and then cleaned up their area.

“Jesus, I’m stuffed, thanks.” Matt thanked him, “I’ll make us some tea.” He went to the coffee maker and heated some water. He put down two tea bags and put down the cups onto the coffee table in front of the tea.

“You’re welcome. My department knows how to make a mean potluck.” They sat back down next to each other, arms overlapping behind their heads. Weazel news then broadcasted the next set of idiots trying to kill each other.

“So what else brought you here?” The assistant continued.

“I told you before. I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” Agent 14 reiterated, “You have no idea how much I checked my phone for you.”

“Fair enough. I did the same. I think the boss was pissed about that. He didn’t appreciate his helicopter being put down on the wrong spot.” 

“Heh. Well the boss is gone so there’s nothing to worry about.”

“God bless Cayo Perico,” The assistant pressed on, “So what are we then?”

“Us? Good question,” Agent 14 answered, eyebrows raised.

“I… think we’re boyfriends.”

“I’m assuming your brother said that.”

“He did. Did your supervisor say the same thing?”

“She did. I got so fucking scared.” Agent 14 picked up his tea, only to have his hand brush against the assistant’s when he picked up his. He then took a sip. “It’s scary how much data the IAA has on people.”

“And social media makes it more so,” The assistant took a sip of his, “Anyway, did you get a fruit basket? ‘Cuz I did.”

“Dude, I thought I was going insane,” Agent 14’s voice got louder, “Like was it red and stuff?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I know who did that.”

“Who? Let me guess? Cops? Fucking police attention.”

“I think it’s the bosses. There’s no LSPD sticker and no names.”

“Oh shit! Now the degenerates are onto this too!”

“I think they can see it too. What do we say?”

“What does this make us professionally?”

“Nothing?”

“Exactly. We’re together outside IAA sanctions and corporate duties. I guess… Will you be my boyfriend?” Agent 14 asked, arms out for a hug.

“Yes, yes, and yes!” The assistant squealed, giving Agent 14 a massive bear hug and knocking the wind out of him. They both laughed as Matt gave Chris a noogie. Chris then gave him a kiss on the cheek. In response, Matt scooped Chris into his arms and said, “I love you.”

“My algorithms state one-hundred percent that I love you too!” Agent 14 snuggled into the assistant’s arms.

“Although I have a plan,” The assistant held onto him, “We both do arms dealing, right?”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

“I’m thinking…” He whispered into the IAA agent’s ear. They both giggled in delight.

“You’re a fucking genius, I love it!” Agent 14 hollered.

The rain cleared after a day of two. The bosses were still at Cayo Perico. The agent and assistant then played tennis, darts, bowling, golfing, arcade games, and volleyball. Agent 14 even took the assistant on a tour of his bunker. He even returned to work and the IAA was shocked over his happier mood. Mrs. Rackman was pleasantly surprised while the others were shocked.

“Did you break into the cocaine stash?” An IAA agent asked, “You can tell us.”

“Why yes, high quality stuff!” Agent 14 answered sardonically, “No, the break went well!”

The assistant and his brother were texting, with his brother being proud of him taking the next step. After calling in a car, he got ready for a date at Bahama Mama’s. Ditching the normal work threads, he put on a blue sweater and a white dress shirt underneath. He also put on some jeans too. 

Agent 14 was in his iconic jacket and shirt but was wearing black slacks. Mrs. Rackman was driving him this time, as a courtesy gesture. 

“Bahama Mama’s?” She commented, “Seems like you truly lost your damn mind.”

“No, not really. I want to take him somewhere nice.” Agent 14’s voice was filled with mirth.

“Can’t blame you. You’re two athletic boys with moxie.”

“The assistant is such a gentle giant.  _ My _ gentle giant mind you.”

“I can’t imagine the reactions if they truly knew about this,” They arrived at Bahama Mama’s, “Well chop chop. Be safe and don’t be idiots.” Agent 14 wordlessly jumped out of the car. He then ordered a table for two and sat down, twiddling his thumbs. The assistant came not soon after.

“You look fantastic!” Agent 14 was drinking in the sight of a dressed up assistant. It was usually the assistant’s prerogative to look good, but the other felt like he went the extra mile. He sat down by him, instantaneously blushing.

“Oh stop it! You look good too,” The assistant playfully swatted the agent’s hand. The dinner went off without a hitch. They exchanged banter and giggles throughout. After finishing their meal, they took a walk on the town. They went to the stores in the area and made jokes left and right about the items in the store. Holding hands, they walked along the Del Perro Pier and rode the rides. They huddled together in the night January chill.

Getting bored of the area, they snuck out at the end of the pier. Finding a dinghy, Matt took the driver’s seat and Chris sat next to him.

“You know how to drive this thing?” Chris was impressed.

“Yeah, not too different from a car,” Matt replied confidently. He put his other arm around Chris’s back.

“I like this,” Chris was taken aback by the sudden show of confidence. They were driving around in the ocean, seeing all the submarines. 

“I like  _ you _ ,” Matt shot back, giving a wink. They saw the hangars, the coves, and even a bit of the bunker before settling down at Paleto. The wind chill proved too much as they ran out of the dinghy and into the bunker. They ran into the living quarters and started to make out. Any worker that dared to look would be told that they were creating heat.

That was a fucking lie.

They ran their hands on each other’s toned bodies while exchanging French kisses. Their tongues slipped around as Chris copped a feel on Matt’s ass while Matt pushed in the nape of Chris’s neck. Matt ripped off Chris’s jacket while the other started putting his hands underneath his shirt and jeans. Chris broke the kiss to start nipping on the crook of the other’s neck. Matt let out little moans as he felt his nipples get pinched.

“Goddamn Matt,” Chris growled, “You’re so fucking tempting. How the fuck is a big and cute assistant like you single?”

“Chris!” Matt yelped as he felt Chris bite, “I work a lot… I could say the same to you.”

“Honestly I’ve wanted to fuck your brains out for a long time.”

“And I’d let you.” Matt lifted his thigh to rub against Chris’s bulge. Chris took this as a signal to pull Matt’s sweater and shirt off. He then started to bite his chest and Matt used his knee to rub him even more. Chris then slid and rocked himself back and forth on Matt’s thigh. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth.

“Your thighs are amazing,” he growled. 

Wanting more, Matt grabbed one of Chris’s arms from the wall and put his hand under his loosened pants. He started to buck his hips against Chris’s now receptive hand. “You’re so aggressive…” Matt muttered.

“Says the one who started to hump my hand,” Chris opened his eyes and looked back at a flushed Matt.

“Big words for someone who’s humping my thigh,” Matt chuckled, looking at red-faced Chris.

“Fuck you,” Chris got off his thigh. He then zipped down the other’s jeans and dropped them to the ground. He then used his other hand to remove the blue boxer briefs underneath, revealing Matt’s stiff erection. “Jesus, Matt, you’re huge…” He groaned, getting on his knees and started sucking.

“Chris, oh, ah…” Matt let out gasps as he bit his finger. He shuddered at the other man taking his whole length. He dug his fingers into his hair, gripping him tightly to his cock. Chris’s warm mouth made him shudder. Resisting Matt’s grip, Chris pulled out, gasping for air.

“My jaw hurts…” Chris mewled, rubbing his jaw. In a sudden moment, Matt lifted up Chris and threw him on the bed. Chris’s eyes widened at this action while Matt gave a giggle. Matt then pulled Chris’s slacks and boxer briefs down, revealing Chris’s cock. Matt then leaned him on top and started sucking, taking his whole length in and out of his mouth. “Goddamn, Matt! You’re sucking me off like a champ here!” He growled, bucking his hips to mess with the other. 

Matt then stopped sucking and pulled the other’s member out of his mouth. He then pulled off Chris’s shirt. They then shook off each other’s remaining clothes and threw them onto the floor. They pulled the blanket onto themselves and started making out again. Chris then rolled over to pin Matt down but Matt grabbed his wrist. Matt rolled over to pin Chris down and started to nibble his ear.

“You’re not making this easy, Matt,” Chris groaned.

“Doesn’t have to be,” Matt groaned back, now nibbling at his neck. The more Chris struggled, the tighter Matt held. In spite of this, they still kissed heavily. They rolled over a couple of times, cocks rubbing against each other. They only separated to moan, curse, and catch their breaths. 

After a while, Chris then distracted Matt with using tongue. He then slipped out of Matt’s grip and pinned him down on the bed. Chris’s icy blue eyes bore into Matt’s warm brown. “I got you, you little shit,” He gave a smirk.

“You mean  _ big _ ,” Matt couldn’t help but be cheeky.

“You’ll pay for that,” Chris broke his grip briefly to pull out a small bottle from under the pillow.

“Wait, you knew about that?” Matt remarked, still pinned down.

“Who gave the degenerates this bunker?”

“You?”

“Now you answered the question of who’s going to fuck you into this mattress,” Chris gave a kiss on the forehead before dispensing the contents of the small bottle in his hand. He then put the bottle back and then lifted Matt’s legs up. “But I’m not that cruel. I’m not going in dry.” He started to rub his entrance with the contents of the small bottle. He used his other hand to rub the head of the other man’s member.

“You fucking tease,” Matt gasped, wincing at the sensation at his entrance, “That was fucking lube.”

“Good, good, you got it right,” Chris’s sarcasm just seemed to thicken as he started to finger the other’s entrance. “Good boy.” Matt laid, wincing and yelping at each new digit.

“ **Mierda… Tu bastardo…** ” Matt turned his head away, whimpering.

“I love this,” Chris kept finger blasting him, “I love it when you start speaking Spanish.”

“ **Carajo** …”

“Keep it up!”

“Stop teasing me!” Matt whined, gripping the pillow beneath him.

“Okay then,” Chris then pulled his fingers out, and then slowly pushed his member in, “God, you’re so tight, Matt.”

“Chris… You madman,” Matt said breathlessly, looking at Chris again.

“You’re pulling me in,” Chris winced, attempting to thrust in and out.

“Heh,” Matt wrapped his legs around Chris. The tension hung in the air as both were slowly moving. After a few kisses, Chris began to speed up. They both locked eyes for a moment before Chris buried his head in the crook of the other man’s neck. Matt grunted louder as he started taking more of the other’s length. Hell, Matt even hugged Chris closer to him.

“You’re taking this well,” Chris lifted his head up to see an elated Matt.

“Well don’t stop,” Matt gasped, “You’re making me feel good.” Chris took this to go faster and harder. Slapping sounds resounded from the living quarters. Both started grunting and growling as they sped up. Matt even scratched Chris’s back. They even kissed at some points. Chris kept looking at him while he turned his head away a couple of times.

“... **Mas rápido!"** The first coherent thing to come out of Matt’s mouth.

“You got it!” Chris sped up even more, slamming himself deeper inside Matt. Matt screamed more demands. Both of them were so hot and sweaty they threw the blanket off of themselves. Matt dug his nails in deeper. “Fuck yeah, Matt! I love the sound of your screams!”

“ **Me Dios** !” Matt screamed again, feeling himself lose control. His legs wobbled, despite the tight grip he had. He gave into the climax, toes curling as he released a load or so between the two.

“Fffffffuck!” Chris came not long after. He emptied his balls into him, gripping his shoulders tight as he felt ropes of cum go into him. He then collapsed after, laying on his lover. Matt then stroked his sweat-soaked hair and put his legs down. Pulling the blanket back onto themselves, they whispered sweet nothings and passed out for the night.

They both continued to have crazy sex.

Matt rode Chris while doing paperwork at Maze Bank tower.

Chris slammed Matt from behind in the ex-government facility. 

Matt took Chris to the CEO office living quarters and rode him there. The cot broke so Matt ordered an actual bed.

“I’m sure the boss will appreciate the new bed,” The assistant ordered a single twin bed with a metal bed frame.

“I’m sure  _ we’ll _ appreciate the new bed,” Agent 14 corrected him. And so they broke in the new bed two days later.

Agent 14 then sucked off the assistant while Darryl ordered an Annihilator. The assistant got him back by sucking him off at the IAA showers. One time, they snuck out and fucked in the back of an insurgent. Their most recent vehicle to fuck in was the MOC. They laid in bed, musing about how their relationship had changed.

“If you told me we’d be fucking like rabbits, I wouldn’t believe you,” Agent 14 sat up.

“I wouldn’t believe it either,” The assistant said, “You know, besides the fucking, this whole relationship is nice.”

“Yeah. You and I together, just seems right after all this bullshit. It’s crazy how much we get along and how closely we’ve been working.” 

“I love you,” He leaned in to kiss him.

“I love you, too,” He returned the kiss.

Darryl was the first one to return from Cayo Perico. He languidly returned to his CEO office at Maze Bank tower. He dropped his stuff off at the side of the couch, passing by a messily dressed assistant. The assistant’s hair was messed up, along with his blazer and shirt. 

“Glad to see you again boss!”

“Hi man, thanks,” Darryl entered the living quarters, “Oh hey, you ordered a new bed, thank you!”

“Anything for the boss!” He said with a wink.

Just about as Darryl was going to pass out, he saw the new bed littered with semen and used condoms. Throwing away the condoms, he screamed, “ **Ah shival mo ya igo?!** ”

“What is it boss?” The assistant gasped.

“Look at this room! Clean it the fuck up, I’m going out! Have you seen it? Was it you?” Darryl panicked, immediately running out and going into the elevator.

“Okay, boss…” The assistant cleaned the room, mortified beyond belief.

Darryl ran over to Mini Madrazo’s place. He sped past the gate and into Miguel’s room. 

“Yo, what the fuuuuck?” Miguel asked, surprised at Darryl’s state.

“You got any more of that tequila?” Darryl begged on his knees.

“Yeah, spill it bro,” Miguel took out the Sinsimito Tequila, pouring a shot for both of them. Darryl slammed his back, “Yo, dude chill. You can tell me?”

“...Have you found out something gross was true? Like the two people you didn’t expect to fuck fucked?” Darryl poured another shot.

“...Story of my life,” Miguel threw back his shot, “Story of my life, bro.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations (From Spanish and Korean):  
>  **Mierda… Tu bastardo…** = Shit… You bastard...  
>  **Carajo** = Bullshit  
>  **...Mas rápido** = Faster  
>  **Me Dios!** = My god  
>  **Ah shival mo ya igo** = **아 씨발 뭐야 이거** = Oh my lord, what the fuck is this?!


	3. Intercontinental Ballistic Missile Romantica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watch the Balla Bees react to the growing relationship and professional escalation.

The rest of the Balla Bees followed, with Rick and Ayla settling down after one last heist with Darryl. Rick spent his riches on vehicle upgrades. Ayla spent hers on actually getting said vehicles. Darryl bought some properties and vehicles and upgraded both of them. They were now frolicking in the street with their new toys.

Whatever could be considered frolicking in the streets of Los Santos these days.

Rick bounced his Sasquatch with maximum vertical jump near the Maze Bank arena. Darryl followed with his Apocalypse ZR380 with side shunts. Ayla gave little bunny hops on her purple Apocalypse ZR380. Darryl and Rick seemed like they were flying across the Los Santos freeways. Ayla trailed behind, enjoying the moment with the two men in tow.

The next day, they took a joy ride through Fort Zancudo with the Khanjali. The following day, they took a flight in the Avenger, neutralizing any idiots that asked for money drops. A day later, Rick sold his Annihilator Stealth helicopter and fully upgraded his Akula, giving Ayla an intimate flight across the island. Darryl minded his own business, flying his MKII Oppressor across the mountains and doing stunts on them. At the end of the week, they laid out on the Superyacht, soaking in the sun. 

Agent 14 and the assistant were slowly adding vehicles to their fuck location bucket list. One night was a Baller, the other a Stockade, one week a Burrito, and another a Cargobob. They tried a recently stolen Rhino tank, but found it rather uncomfortable. The Bolingbroke Prison bus killed their mood entirely and they went on to do more vanilla things. Like taxes, running ultramarathons, stocks, darts, and obtaining intel.

Intel that Merryweather somehow obtained two ICBM’s for some forsaken reason. 

The Balla Bees went back into business, thinking that they were going to do some special cargo work. They were fucking wrong. When Darryl got into his Omnis, the assistant buzzed in.

“Okay, so this is going to be some special cargo. I got in touch with some special connections so it’s not anywhere on the site. There’s an unmarked vehicle at this location. Go get it!”

The crew proceeded to get to the unmarked vehicle, but not without some hostiles.

“Again, I’m not surprised that there’s hostile activity, be careful.”

They drove the vehicle to their large warehouse. They pulled off the sheet to reveal the cargo.

“That’s not medical equipment, animal products, arms, or jewelry. What is  _ that _ ?” Ayla squinted at the cargo.

“He’s not kidding,” Darryl poked the cargo, seeing the liquid swirl around. The package was a pack of cylindrical containers wrapped in tape, lots of tape.

Rick took a sniff of the cargo, wafting it to him, “It’s booster fuel. I wonder what the hell is your assistant thinking? Or is the market just changing… Could be a specific client he got?”

“Oh,” Darryl replied blankly, “I guess we can keep going with this.” And so they did. And with the hostiles increasing in number and getting more dangerous.

“We just had RPG’s fly at us, RPG’s!” Ayla threw her hands in the air, “I swear I almost died there.”

“We must be grabbing some serious shit,” Rick remarked, pulling the sheet off of all the cargo they collected.

“Dude, yo, this isn’t anything we got before,” Darryl stared in awe. It truly was nothing that they had stolen before: balloon decoys, signal jammers, SAM’s, mini command and control systems, and missile decoys. “Jesus christ, we hit a jackpot!”

“This doesn’t feel right,” Rick remarked, “We do arms but not like this. Let’s top this warehouse off.” The other two nodded and got into their cars. 

“Boss, I’m so glad we’re going forward with this new deal. The dealer is at the dinghy so you have to ride a boat,” The assistant called in again. The crew rode a weaponized dinghy across the sea, and then hijacked the said dinghy. As is tradition, hostiles descended upon them, but with helicopters this time. 

“First we’re at sea, and now these cargo shipments are cooler boxes? This is the worst!” Ayla shivered in her overcoat, cursing the cold January weather. Darryl made quick work of the helicopters while Rick drove circles around the enemies in Seasharks. She shot a few people to prove that she wasn’t entirely useless. When the sea was clear, the assistant spoke again.

“Fantastic job, but we’re not going to put these in the warehouse. I’m going to turn this over to  _ my _ contact for the location he wants.”

“Huh?” Ayla was confused. A familiar voice spoke out.

“Thank you… My contact,” Agent 14 rang in, “As  _ my _ contact said, this kind of cargo actually needs to be in your bunker. Only the bunker can house this kind of cargo properly. Get it in there cold. Don’t disappoint my contact or I’ll break all of your legs.” The crew looked at each other, mentally putting the pieces together.

“...Uh oh,” Ayla meekly said, looking up at the sky.

“Fuck,” Darryl plainly remarked.

“I have no words,” Rick added last. The trip to the Paleto Forest bunker was silent, as they turned in the cargo to the workers. The workers rushed to put them in tucked away fridges of the bunker. The crew agreed to call it for the night.

The next day, they sold the entire warehouse. Darryl noted there was no specific seller on Ad-Hawk. There were five Phantom Wedges and they were debriefed before taking one.

“This is going to be a different sales mission, boss. Luckily you know this location well. Our buyer will be waiting there. Because our buyer is so courteous, he gave us Phantom Wedges. Saddle up, because it’s gonna be a bumpy ride.” The assistant had a veil of whimsy in his voice.

They were debriefed again by another voice, “So law enforcement is going to bitch and whine about this one. Use these big rigs to plow through them and get to the rendezvous.” Agent 14 followed.

“Is this how it’s going to be? We get both in our ears now?” Rick wondered, getting into his Phantom Wedge. 

“I guess,” Darryl shrugged his shoulders, getting into his.

“This is gonna get annoying fast,” Ayla jumped into hers. They blazed through Los Santos to get to the bunker. Rick got into his Avenger after dropping his truck off to provide air support. Ayla and Darryl drove the remaining Phantom Wedges. Of course there was chaos, but it was easily managed by the sheer firepower in all their possession. A few toxic folks on flying bikes, but nothing too bad. The cops were an easy problem to fix. They drove in peacefully.

“Congratulations, boss! That was our biggest sale yet!” The assistant congratulated all three, “A big stepping stone in our journey to wealth, huh?” He ended with a light-hearted chuckle.

“...And that’s everything sold,” Agent 14 added, “If not for the cops, you could say that was a lovey-dovey transaction! Pinky promise, the cargo will be used for good.” He couldn’t help but chuckle too.

“...That was weird,” Darryl commented, “I get my assistant being happy but Agent 14…” He shuddered.

“Let’s get shit for the bunker then,” Rick didn’t mince his words. It was a standard stock mission, getting truck packages. Everything went normally until the phone rang.

“I see you got the equipment, but you’re not returning that to the bunker. I’ll let my contact take it from here,” Agent 14 debriefed, only to hang up after.

The phone rang again, only to have a familiar voice answer, “Hi boss, it’s me. So I see you got the truck packages courtesy of my  _ lovely  _ contact. Take it to the warehouse and we should be set!” The assistant sounded a bit more sycophantic than usual, but the crew could ignore it. They got the packages over to the warehouse and everything was done.

“Won’t you look at that? It’s like I’m giving a gift to my love here. Job well done.” Agent 14 gave his parting words. The crew looked at each other in silence, until Ayla broke the ice.

“I think it’s cute that they found love and happiness in each other. Sure you’d get both of them being subtly mushy in your ear, but hey they’re visibly happier.”

“Well, it’s nice they’re thinking from a business standpoint,” Rick added, “I mean gunrunning and arms dealing are profitable. Putting two big heads like that is even more profitable that it almost feels like money laundering. We’re just putting arms between the bunker and the warehouse now.”

“I get it,” Darryl said, scratching his head, “It’s just after seeing Agent 14 be a cynical professional, it’s tripping me out. I can’t get used to a cheerful Agent 14. It feels cursed. Like I’m happy for my assistant to be less lonely, but them being mushy takes getting used to.” He then called in his Toreador and got in. The other two followed. “Let’s hang out at the apartment, this is a lot to take in.” They made their way to the high end apartment.

The crew sat on the couch, watching TV. They didn't want to muse or read between the lines of what’s happening. Ayla and Rick snuggled while Darryl reclined on the big seat. After a hearty dinner of holiday leftovers, they played Righteous Slaughter the rest of the night until they passed out. Wonderful.

The next morning, they all woke up at noon. They took turns showering and changing clothes. Ayla changed from her dress and hoodie to her camo tights and brown jacket. The men had their casual outfits from Cayo Perico and changed back to their old outfits. They had a brunch of streusel cake and coffee. Darryl got a text from Agent 14.

“I know shit is a bit weird, but I assure you it’s more than it seems. Let me into your apartment, I have a raid to offer you. Your assistant helped on the other stuff, but he can’t come.”

Darryl showed the other two the text.

“What does he mean by that? I’m curious what this alliance will lead us,” Rick wondered aloud.

“Maybe it’s a present?” Ayla suggested.

“I wouldn’t be surprised,” Darryl replied, “With everything? Agent Loverboy might buy my assistant an orbital cannon and he wants us to get it, methinks.”

A buzzer rang, and he got up to see who it was. “Speak of the Devil.”

“Let him in, let’s see what he wants,” Rick said. And he let him in. Once Agent 14 came in, they went into the heist planning room.

Rick stood up while the other two sat down. Agent 14 cleaned the white board and the map of Los Santos. Ayla yawned at the sight. “Gee, you folks seem rather lazy today.”

“Well, sir, we’ve done nothing but run businesses for the past few days,” Ayla yawned again.

“I’m curious as to what professional canoodling you are doing to my assistant,” Darryl asked incredulously.

“I know, I know,” Agent 14 knew this was going to happen, “My relationship with the SecuroServ assistant has heated up and managed to catch into your optics. I promise you this doesn’t mean a monopoly is going to happen. The IAA doesn’t work that way. SecuroServ doesn’t work that way.”

“But you still do it,” Rick called him out, writing down profits and comparing them side by side, “So I did the math on before and after you got with our assistant, and after you shacked up with him, you’ve been winning the arms race.”

“That was his idea, not mine,” Agent 14 pointed to the pie chart and jotted down a note, “He suggested that we sell arms to each other to pump profits. It fucking worked. Not only is he cute and loyal, he’s a well-connected, smooth negotiating, fucking genius.”

“Wait, my assistant said that?” Darryl raised his eyebrow at the statement.

“Have you ever listened to him?” Agent 14 asked with an air of indignation, palm raised up.

“Well I do sometimes, he just does the paperwork…”

“He’s business minded and knows what profits are. He’s also got ambition and doesn’t mind going off the books to make sure your company thrives,” Agent 14 took a breath, “But enough about that. You degenerates steal shit all the time and we got an offer for you.” He pulled out some photos and tacked them to the board.

“Turns out Merryweather had gotten two whole ICBM’s in complete silence. We aren’t sure whether they stole or bought it. But talking with the IAA and SecuroServ, we know they come from Asia. What I want all three of you to do, is to steal those back. Merryweather are the  _ last _ group of people that should have ICBM’s. I-I don’t even know, like what’s the point? Don Percival has lost his mind.” 

The crew again looked to each other in silence and astonishment.

“I know. Unlike what some perverts think, we actually do stuff together,” Agent 14 continued, “You know the drill, scope out Merryweather HQ, the infil and exfil points, the ICBM’s themselves, security systems, and all that good stuff. Pick your approach and go from there, you’ve a blank check. I’m going to let you use your submarine for this one. Those ICBM’s are buried under many thousand feet of concrete so you’re going to need codes, fingerprint scanners, drills, and get this: a Chernobog. They go big so we go big. Stealthily, you need to sweep from above and lift them from there. Loud, you’re going to barge right into the vaults and pull them out yourself. Big Con, well whaddaya know? You dress up as them to take it from under their noses. A mix of all three? Go for it! Hell put one on the submarine if you like. We’ve calculated the ways but the choice is yours.” By the time he was done talking, the board was full of notes, lists, pins, and photos of anything relevant. 

“...Jesus, have we created a monster?” Darryl muttered to himself.

“I don’t know, man, but the money is money. We’ve lived through worse,” Rick muttered back, shrugging his shoulders. He then turned to Agent 14, “We’ll accept your offer.”

Agent 14 shook Rick’s hand, “Thank you. I know money is an object to you now but you are truly helping the country but taking those ICBM’s away from Merryweather. Remember, I don’t know you, you don’t know me, this never happened, and I didn’t fu-”

“I get it!” Ayla threw her hands out in front of her, blushing and yelling, “I get the point!” The agent walked out. They spoke amongst themselves and made their decision. 

They decided on the silent approach. Rick had decided to call in an old friend.

Tim.

Tim Leung was an engineer at the power plant in Grapeseed. He was a distant friend of Darryl and Rick, but due to his job he couldn’t participate with the Balla Bees activities. Regardless, he was a valued member whose motorcycle and weed knowledge came handy. He rode his Sanchez to Los Santos at first notification.

He was buzzed in immediately, still fresh in his black and grey biker gear. It contrasted with his slicked back hair and pale skin. He threw his helmet on the floor, facing Rick. “I heard you need me. What’s up?”

“I got another heist for you,” Rick briefed him, “Merryweather stole two whole ICBM’s and Agent 14 wants us to steal them.”

“ICBM’s? You’re not serious right?” Tim looked around in jest. He saw Darryl and Ayla and realized it was completely serious, “Oh, you are.”

“How are you going to explain this to the power plant?” Darryl asked.

“Told them my mom is sick and I have to go to Taiwan. Supervisor immediately cleared the vacation. Love that guy,” Tim answered, “Shit man, you guys have the whole heist set up. Well, I’ll be here from the heist prep to the actual heist itself. Two whole ass ICBM’s, wow.... We basically graduated from banks.”

“We saved the world and robbed a whole island. That’s hard to top,” Rick corrected.

“Well, I’m bound for more excitement,” Tim shrugged his shoulders, “Plant life was getting boring anywho.”

“You won’t guess how we figured out this heist,” Ayla started gossiping.

“How? Spill, sis!” Tim replied.

“Sooooo,” Ayla started spilling, “It turns out Agent 14 needed paperwork for the bunker and it was inside the CEO office. So we had to take him over there, and he met the assistant.”

“Ooooh!”

“Turns out Agent 14 came up to him and started flirting straight away! The sparks flew from then on with a few bumps in the road… And they’re boyfriends now!”

“Oh that is SO spicy!”

“Turns out they started to bump heads financially and started selling to each other. Theeeen, they got really spicy and found out Merryweather was back on their bullshit!”

“Wow, that is some scalding hot tea!”

“And now we have to have both in our ears when we do our businesses,” Darryl groaned, “I swear Agent 14 made my assistant into something scary.”

“Ah yes, money laundering, how smart and romantic,” Rick remarked, “So whaddya say Tim?”

“I’m in, bud!” Tim gave high fives all around.

The four started scoping out Merryweather HQ. They snuck about the interior, noting the sparse warehouse environment. Ayla posted a selfie with a security camera, giving a peace sign.

“Ayla, he’s dating a dude, c’mon,” Rick groaned, taking a picture of the security panel by itself.

“Thank you for the pictures of the security system,” Agent 14 buzzed in, “Ayla, don’t do that.”

Ayla gave a gleeful giggle and snapped another photo. 

“Yoooo Agent 14 what’s good my homie?” Tim greeted, taking photos of the cargobob outside.

“Tim?” Agent 14 reeled his head back in surprise, “Anyway, it seems to me that HQ is largely unchanged since they ceased domestic operations. On paper that is. Let’s see if there’s any changes underwater since 2013.”

“Dammit, Tim, get back here,” Darryl whispered, pushing Rick and Ayla off the docks. Tim did a sneaky parkour trick running box to box and dove in the water. “We could’ve gotten caught!”

“No kill, no foul amirite?” Tim replied haughtily.

“Yes you’re not allowed to kill but that doesn’t excuse being a jackass,” Agent 14 snarked, “Now start swimming.” The crew put on rebreathers and dove down. They swam past the docks and into the bay. Rick led the group to the drainage tunnel, pulling out a screwdriver. He started to unscrew the hinge of the grate to pop it off. Just as the grate loosened, Darryl held it. Once it was gone, he gently laid it at the dock floor. They went in, feeling the concrete walls around them. It felt like the drainage tunnel at El Rubio’s compound. However, the water started to become shallower and shallower and ended like a sewer, leading into a whole new tunnel system underneath.

“Jesus,” Darryl said, looking at the new tunnel system.

“ **Ang laki ng dito** ,” Ayla gasped in wonder, “ **Kelan build nito** ?” She immediately started taking photos.

“They had eight years,” Rick commented, “And this is what they did with them.”

“They ain’t slick.” Tim whistled, “Look, insurgents.” There was an array of black insurgents parked along the walls. “Again, back on their bullshit.” They kept walking, being mindful of the cameras deployed. They also noticed the security system was also installed here. It was a sparse, hollow place, with ammo and armor boxes scattered everywhere. They all started taking photos and sending them to Agent 14.

“Why am I not surprised?” Agent 14 answered after all the texts, “Don Percival using the last of Devin Weston’s shares to make this… Bastard. Looks like a straightforward place, one with all the fixings like upstairs. Feels like a bunker too. Oh look, a fork in the road.”

The Balla Bees stopped to notice a fork splitting into three separate tunnels. 

“Split and observe each, I’m assuming at each end one should house an ICBM,” Agent 14 said, tapping into the camera systems, “And please remember which.” With that, the crew wordlessly split, with Darryl going left, Tim going middle, and Ayla heading right. Rick followed after her.

“ **Ano ng gagawin dito, Rick** ?” Ayla said with a hint of indignance, “ **Okay ako ng dito. Tulungan mo sa Tim. Matagal nang hindi nag-heist si Tim** .”

“ **Sandali lang, Ayla** ,” Rick replied strictly, “Ayla.” She stopped to look at Tim, her razor cut bob swishing. Her 5’1” figure glared at the 5’11” man before her.

“ **Ano** ?” Ayla spat, “I’m okay. Go help Tim.”

“Tim knows what he’s doing,” Rick defended himself, looking down at the woman in front of him. 

“And I don’t?”

“I’m not assuming you don’t know. You’re not like Tim.” Ayla turned and started going forward.

“And I’m not like you or Darryl. Pavel said copying you won’t help me, and he’s right. I have to be more independent. I know how to do what you do now.” Her dark grey Prolaps scuba outfit softly blocked the harsh light. Rick reached his hand out and she softly pulled it away. “Not right now, Rick.” She whispered.

“I got robbing Cayo Perico made you learn a lot. And I’m proud of you being able to do it by yourself.” Rick continued, following her, “But you’re still vulnerable. Actually, watch out!” He pulled Ayla into an ammo crate. She let out a yelp.

“What the hell-” She was immediately shushed when they saw a guard coming. They were crammed into the crate together.

“You were absorbed in your newfound pride that you forgot to notice there’s still people here,” Rick broke his silence, “You can’t fool me with your additional English and swift know-how or your fancy new equipment. You can’t hide your jitters or your indecision or your clumsy handling.”

“...Fuck.” Ayla cursed, blushing hard. She crossed her arms.

“You still startle easily. That right there is enough that you still need help.”

“I’m out,” She pulled the lid out and jumped out. “I got this, promise.”

“Really? How many guards do you see?” Rick started to test her, following swiftly behind.

“Three.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Really?”

“Let’s keep going.” The pair snuck along the tunnel. Darryl was properly sneaking at his route, noting an open vault at the end with nothing inside. He texted that there was no ICBM but the vault sure looked spacious. Tim was parkouring along the walls, even sticking to the wall and ceiling when he could. He came to the same ending as Darryl, no ICBM but a long, open spacious vault where an ICBM could fit. The boys snuck their way back.

“Nothing on the left,” Darryl spoke to Tim, who was still break-dancing at the crates.

“Nothing in the middle,” Tim replied, ducking, “Both must be right. Where Rick and Ayla should be, coincidentally. Two missiles, two people.”

“Ehhh…” Darryl debated, “Ayla has gotten better and we’re proud of her. Rick’s being kinda weird about it though.”

“So no more klutzy fails? Sweet.”

“ _ Less _ klutzy fails. You’d think her and Rick would work more independently but no, Rick’s been sticking to her. Before she’s just jumped into his vehicles. I think it’s cuz she thinks she doesn’t need Rick anymore.”

“Ah.”

Rick and Ayla seemed to arrive at the end of the road. A large circular metal door with three code panels stood in front of them. Rick took a photo and sent it to Agent 14.

“I see both ICBM’s are at the right fork vault. Also three layers of security, interesting. I think two of those are console so I might have to call Lester. That’s all we need to know, thank you.” He hung up. The two went back, having a little spat along the way. They met up with the boys to tell the news.

“Both are on the right side with three layers of security. First is numpad and the other two are by console. Convenient, ain’t it?” Ayla flipped her hair back and gave a smug smile.

“Well, this brings up something I wanna say,” Rick said, “We can put one ICBM on a Kosatka each. Less use of the Chernobog and more ways to scramble them.”

“That’s genius, Rick.” Tim praised him.

“Also we’re done so let’s go home.” Rick called it. They made their way out of the underground tunnel and screwed the grate back on. They then dried and hung out at the apartment. Ayla bundled herself in a few warm blankets while the boys talked.

“You gonna propose the double Kosatka trick now?” Tim asked, looking at the clock.

“Should be fine.” Rick answered, but seeing Ayla almost jump out her blankets, he then said, “Hey, Darryl, take care of this one.” He then turned to Ayla. “Hey, shhh, we got this, it’s fine.”

“I have a right to see!” Ayla chirped, “I’m fine.” She lunged forward, leaving her blankets intact. Darryl took the tablet over near the TV, so everyone could see the video call. 

Agent 14 and the assistant were cuddling at the former’s apartment. Due to the assistant’s size, Agent 14 was nestled onto his lap, with his chin in his hair. The agent’s phone rang, with the caller ID being the entire crew. “Aw crap, I have to take this. Sorry… dear,” He tried to get up, but the assistant pulled him in.

“The bosses know, it’s fine,” He pulled him in.

“If you say so, you never know with these degenerates.”

“I prefer to call them bosses, it’s just more courteous.”

“Well, shhh,” Agent 14 shushed him, answering the call, “Hello? Oh hey you’re all here.”

“Yeah, we’re here,” Darryl answered, angling the tablet to include everyone, “Just wanted to propose something.”

“What is it?” He tried to angle his phone but the crew saw the assistant, “Oh, crap.”

“Awww, hi!” Ayla greeted, giggling.

“Hi, boss...es.” The assistant greeted back.

“Hello,” Darryl continued, “I wanted to propose this strategy. After we take the ICBM’s out with the Chernobog, how about we split the missiles into one Kosatka each? I argue that it will confuse and split Merryweather. Rick and I will drive our Kosatkas in different directions and Tim and Ayla provide ground and air support. It’ll mean less use for the Chernobog but someone can use the missile systems.”

“That’s perfect actually,” Agent 14 nodded in agreement, “A two way diversion is great and extra manpower is always nice.” As they discussed strategy, Rick and Ayla spoke privately amongst themselves.

“Rick, I’m okay with providing cover,” Ayla said, “I get it. I can shoot better now.”

“This is a delicate mission so I’m making sure you got this,” Rick reminded her, touching her on the shoulder.

“Rick,  **mahal kita** but I’m not that anxious newbie I was when we first met.”

“I just don’t want you to be too confident.” Ayla rolled her eyes. “False confidence and anxiety don’t mix well.”

“I’m fine, Rick.”

“...Just making sure.” He pulled her in a slow, secure hug.

“That’s fine. We can start prep work then,” Agent 14 ended the call. He put down his phone. “For a bunch of degenerates, they’re pretty smart sometimes.”

“...Yeah. They’re inspirations,” The assistant replied with a hint of admiration, hugging the other closer.

“They’re  _ our _ clients.”

“Hey, ever noticed that every single date or hangout we have ended in sex? Like I counted four times that we’ve slept together that didn’t end with us fucking.” The assistant wondered aloud.

Agent 14 laughed aloud. It was so out of nowhere he just laughed in bewilderment. “That’s so random! It’s funny but it’s so true. I wonder why…”

“Like every time we finish a workout, you end up manhandling me…”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No, I like it when you manhandle me!”

“Then what’s the deal?”

“I’m just wondering why we even fuck so much…” The assistant nuzzled his chin in the agent’s hair, “I’m not even against it.”

“I guess our sex drives are just high. Also we have stressful jobs and little to nothing outside of it except us,” Agent 14 tried to make a logical answer.

“Oh,” The assistant suddenly had a revelation, “So, before we met… How much have you jacked off?”

“Daily?” Agent 14 shrugged his shoulders, “Maybe twice if it was bad or I’m just really feeling horny for some odd reason. I’ll admit I’ve broken some sleeves the first two years in the IAA.”

“Okay, that was about it for me. I just did it daily when I was at the exchange and then it was almost twice a day at SecuroServ. I’ve worn the batteries out of some toys that way. Working out just made me cum more.”

“...We’re terrible. Just awful. We just get off so easily that we end up screwing half the time.”

“I think we’re the real degenerates here. We indeed are terrible, but it works.” They proceeded to make love later that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
>  **Ang laki ng dito. Kelan build nito?** = It’s so big here. When was it built?  
>  **Ano ng gagawin dito, Rick? Okay ako ng dito. Tulungan mo sa Tim. Matagal nang hindi nag-heist si Tim.** = What are you doing here, Rick? I’m okay here. Go help Tim. Tim hasn’t heisted for a long time  
>  **Sandali lang, Ayla** = Wait a minute, Ayla  
>  **Ano** = What?  
>  **Mahal kita** = I love you


	4. The Two of Swords Heist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Balla Bees take on another heist at the hands of Agent 14 and the assistant.

The Balla Bees got onto an Avenger and flew over Los Santos. The prep work for this heist was going to be long and hard. The first thing on the list was the Chernobog. They listened for Agent 14, but instead got another voice on the phone.

“Hello bosses, it’s me,” The assistant rang in, “I know you’re expecting him but I’m taking over for this part. No one’s going to sell a Chernobog so we’re going to get one from Merryweather. I’ve pinged you the location of the training exercise. He also forgot to tell you, they have railguns.” He put a waypoint to Paleto Bay.

Everyone groaned in disappointment.

“Fuck Paleto Bay, all us homies hate Paleto Bay,” Tim complained.

“Too true,” Darryl agreed. Soon enough, the crew arrived at the training exercise. A cluster of Merryweather guards surrounded the Chernobog. Rick lazily bombed the guards, with Darryl at the gunner seat and Tim at the cameras. Ayla dropped down from the Avenger, wearing a pink Tron suit and sliding down with a rope. With a few choice shots from her micro SMG, she took out the remainders, taking a railgun for the final shot. She got into the Chernobog.

“That was quick,” The assistant chimed in again, “The missile system has been deactivated but be quick. They’re onto you.” The facility was the building of choice, located at the wind farm. From there on, Ayla drove like mad.

“ **Hayop ka!** ” “ **Boba ka na!** ” “ **Ang swerte naman!** ” “ **Putang ina mo!** ” Her swears resonated from her earpiece. The multiple Merryweather trucks weren’t a problem but the pedestrians and idiot Los Santos drivers were. Some passed her, some stopped in front of her, some T-boned her, she had to bump and hit them multiple. The boys above her gave their support but she had to give a few choice shots. After a long drive through the mountains, she parked the weathered and dented Chernonog into the facility. She swept her hair back, “Little girl, big vehicle.”

“That was less than ideal, but at least we have it now. Good job bosses.” The assistant praised them.

“See? I can do it,” Ayla bragged to Rick.

“You’ve always had a taste for big vehicles. I mean your first major vehicle was a half-track. Sure you drove the other Chernobog into a ravine and I had to fix the problem your clumsy ass made, but hey,” Rick served it back.

“You fixed it, though,” Ayla shot back.

“Enough, let’s keep going,” Darryl stopped them, boarding the Avenger again.

“I know you think I’m on Lifeinvader or checking the scores, but I’m all eyes here,” The assistant began again, “You’re going to prison. The warden is buddy-buddy with Merrryweather and knows the ICBM codes. You can pretend to be prisoners or go in there guns blazing. I’ve faith you'll make the right choice.”

“...This is fucking weird, bro,” Darryl commented, landing the Avenger to a parking lot.

“Seems like our assistant knows what he’s doing. I’m happy for him,” Tim thought differently.

“So we get on the bus and act like security guards? Sure,” Rick made a snap decision. The crew got out of the Avenger and stealthily took out the guards. They changed into their clothes inside the bus, with Ayla at the way back end. Darryl drove this time, donning the hat and sunglasses. They sat through Blaine County, with Ayla singing.

“Wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round… Wheels on the bus go round and round, all through the town!”

“The bodies under the bus go splat, splat, splat! Splat, splat, splat! Splat, splat-!” Rick continued.

“Riiiick!”

“Shut it,” Darryl shushed them, stopping at prison security. The guard gave a cursory glance, checking everyone inside. The crew sat still, holding their breaths. 

The guard then lifted up the stop barrier. They let out a sigh of relief as they moved further into the compound. 

“I see you’re doing silent and sneaky, eh?” The assistant rang in again, “Go get em.” And thus they did, with Rick coming out of the bus. He entered the camera room, hit the warden on the head, put his body down on the chair in a convincing way, and then grabbed the codes. He then texted the codes to the assistant and got back into the bus. They then drove away and sped out after a few miles out.

“I’m jacked to get these, bosses, no need to come into the facility,” The assistant thanked them, “But you can get the fingerprint cloners next.”

“Ugh, I hate these,” Ayla said in disgust, sticking her tongue out and crossing her arms, “I can never find the circuit box and so I gotta deal with all the people.”

“Just shoot the cameras, Ayla,” Darryl replied.

“I do that now.” And hence they did, making a bum rush in some warehouse in Elysian Island and an archive room in Grapeseed. For some reason, they were still in their prison outfits riding a prison bus.

“I don’t know why you’re still in the prison bus and prison clothes, but I’m glad for the swift service. Agent 14 thinks you’re all tacky,” The assistant noted their performance, “Thank you, next.”

“Agent 14 can shove it, these things are beautiful,” Rick spat. They changed into their normal clothes, with him in his tan jumpsuit. Ayla got in her floral jumper, hoodie, and combat boots. Darryl got into a suit and Tim got into his black and grey racing suit. The Avenger got called in and they boarded.

“Well, you’re in for a treat,” The assistant called again, “You’re heading to NOOSE. Go into the server farm to get access codes for the consoles. Only the head of security knows these.”

Everyone groaned in a mix of fear and disappointment.

The Avenger landed on the roof of the NOOSE facility. Rick led and choked the head of security. He then got his codes and led everyone into the server farm. Everyone had a server to hack, with Tim being the last to finish.

“I swear I’m rusty!” Tim shouted back in jest.

“Dude, Ayla finished before you!” Darryl mocked him.

“And who asked if I could hack?” Ayla joined in cheekily. Rick and Ayla went into a deployed Akula and Tim and Darryl went in the Avenger. It was a five star chase that felt like hours. They shot, aimed, and ate multiple sugary snacks. The cops couldn’t stop coming and neither could the helicopters. Everyone freaked out and almost hit each other. Even the NOOSE agents joined in. It was an exhausting, heart-racing affair.

They almost crashed in Sandy Shores, with both vehicles on the verge of bursting into flames. They screamed out swears and started breaking down.

“We died but we survived! We’re dying but surviving!” Ayla panicked, pulling her face.

“Jesus fuck I thought we never had to deal with NOOSE again!” Rick let out a shout.

“Oh god that was terrible! I think I drank too much eCola!” Darryl held his head in his hands.

“Holy shit…” Tim cried.

“I’m happy you survived, bosses,” The assistant rang in, “Great job! Agent 14 is going to love this!”

“Real encouraging!” Ayla cried. To cheer up, they boarded up in an APC and bombed an unmarked weapons cache and bought suppressors and Merryweather guard clothes. They went back to the apartment to check things off and create the final plan.

With the preparation complete, they all passed out.

“Wow, they actually did everything in one fell swoop,” the assistant looked at the board through the photos sent from the crew.

“Amazing, isn’t it?” Agent 14’s voice was filled with mirth as he held a mug of coffee. He put his hand on the assistant’s shoulder. Both were holed up in the IAA tower. “They’re willing to be tools once more for money.”

“I don’t see it like that,” The assistant still looked at the screens, “I mean money does make Los Santos go round, but…”

“But what?”

“The fact I’ve been the other half of this heist is just mind blowing. And that they’re willing to do this. I’m just a fucking assistant. I did not expect SecuroServ to even allow this.”

“They’re private security. And they’re huge. Don’t forget that.”

“I know, but we got together outside of professional standards. And then we got together in a professional sense. How are we not fired?”

“I’m protected class,” Agent 14 sat down, drinking his coffee, “And we work for the same four degenerates. We’re bound by them, like it or not. Don’t worry.” He leaned in closer to the assistant’s face.

“I know they’re capable people, but I can’t help but be scared you know. I came here to make a business and work out, not to deal arms with and for the government. And now we’re dealing with the biggest private security company of all.” The assistant fiddled with the buttons on his sleeve.

“It’s not their first rodeo. And don’t worry, I’ll protect you.” Agent 14 pulled the assistant into a tight hug, nuzzling his neck, “If something were to happen to you, I’m killing every last Merryweather bastard that touches you.” The cup of coffee lay between them, rapidly cooling.

Mrs. Rackman peeked into the room, smiling at both of them.

The Balla Bees woke up bright and early. They shuffled themselves into Ayla’s purple armored Kuruma. It aptly had a bee logo on the side. 

“Good morning, sunshine! It seems like you idiots have pulled yourself together,” Agent 14 seemed to sound normal here, “Get into the insurgent and change.” The drive from the wind farm to Elysian Island was silent. “After that, dive down and steal the ICBM’s. Drive ‘em out with the Chernobog. One person has one ICBM and the other two provide support. One ICBM goes into a submarine and they go in opposite directions.”

They found the insurgent near Walker Logistics. Ayla only drove it to face the pier, and then they got out and dove into the sea. Tim and Darryl did a little milly rock in place seeing a Dixon blimp. They then started their swim around.

“Remember the tunnel and the grating. Use the screws if you can, but the cutting torch works too.” Agent 14 continued. Rick led the rest of the team, the swim still silent due to rebreathers. He pulled out a screwdriver and unscrewed the hinge off the grate. Darryl again held the grate and popped it off quietly. They then swam in, just like before, but with suppressed pistols and bullpup rifles.

“We don’t have an EMP for this one so please be silent and sneaky for this one. Not in the budget, sorry. Just split amongst yourselves in the separate tunnels to be safe.”

“Well, bosses, I have good news,” the assistant cut in, “I got someone to disable the security cameras so you’ll have an easier time.”

“You’re making this hard to forget,” Agent 14 sighed.

“I know,” he gave a wink. He was in the CEO tower, pulling the curtains closed and going into the heist planning room with a laptop.

Ayla went to the left tunnel and Tim went to the center tunnel. Rick and Darryl went into the right tunnel. Like clockwork, Rick and Darryl shot everyone in the tunnel without being detected. Tim let a few stray bullets fly and tried to parkour and stab someone, but he was okay for the most part. Ayla let some people see her, but she shot them before everyone else could notice. She let out a sigh of relief as the last guard’s body fell. She was the last one to clear the tunnel too. Rick got to hacking the numpad.

“Get to the first layer of security. I’m assuming every guard in the area is dead, no?”

The password was a long code of numbers. Rick then took turns on being lookout as Darryl hacked through the second layer.

“Now get through the second layer with the console. I’ve been able to recycle Lester’s old system as overlay so get to it.” Darryl took his time in making sure the nodes were lasered off. Rick did find it suspicious that some people did peek into the tunnels. 

“Anyone seeing additional people in the tunnels?” Rick asked.

“Yeah,” Tim answered with a drawl, casually hitting a new guard with his bullpup rifle.

“...Yeah,” Ayla whispered fearfully and slowly. She took slow breaths to put headshots as of late.

“The security cameras are coming back on so hurry up! The hack was only temporary,” the assistant chimed in. Darryl got through the second layer and switched off with Rick to do the final one.

“Two minutes left to clear the final layer of security! Someone get into the Chernobog now!” Ayla sprinted from the crate she hid behind. She then dove back in through the tunnel and swam her way outside. Keeping her rebreather on, she climbed up the ladder and shot a wayward guard with her pistol. In a rush of fear, she tripped on her flipper and dropped her pistol. She recovered her pistol and looked both ways. It was best to not engage with the other guards. The Chernobog was parked in front of the warehouse, decorated with the Merryweather logo. She slid under the vehicle and changed into a Merryweather guard suit. She then jumped into the drivers’ seat.

“What are you doing here, ma’am?” A guard came up to her as she settled into her chair. She froze and did speak a word. “I got you. Good day to use a Chernobog, huh?” She nodded as he finished looking at the vehicle. “Have a nice day, honey.” He walked away, not looking back. She let out a sigh of relief as she looked on.

Rick finished hacking, with Darryl counting the bodies that came in. Tim joined them. 

“Fantastic, time to crack them open and raise them up!”

The vault door popped open and the boys got to work on raising the two ICBM’s up. Each missile sat on their own scaffolding and thick fog emerged. The guys kept smashing every panel they saw until Rick took his eyes off the numpad.

There was a raising button just by the number zero. He slammed his fist on the number. The ground beneath them started to rumble. The shelves and knick knacks were shaking around them. An alarm blared so they instinctively pulled out their bullpup rifles. The platform holding the missiles gave one last shake before rising.

Slowly.

The guys tapped their feet in impatience. Rick started reloading but hit Darryl in the eye with his elbow. Darryl tried to hit Rick with a knuckle duster but ended up hitting Tim on the head. Tim retaliated with pinching but got Rick’s nose. Rick tried to pull away but slammed his rifle on Darryl’s hand. The knuckle duster flew off and hit Rick’s sunglasses. Rick then poked Tim in the eyes to release himself. Tim then pulled Rick’s ear back, which knocked Darryl to the floor. Darryl immediately got up and slapped both of them. Tim then gave a swift punch to Darryl who fell again. Darryl made a whooping noise as he stepped back to see that they were warehouse level and all Merryweather operatives were looking at them.

Down the sights. With lasers on.

“Oh shitshitshitshitshit,” Darryl changed his tune as he started shooting. Rick readjusted his sunglasses and started shooting too. Tim began to dive behind a crate to shoot them.

Ayla shook her head at the display and picked a few off with her pistol. She waited a few minutes to see if they were alright.

They weren’t. So she started the Chernobog and drove straight in through the warehouse. She spared no second as she ran over a few operatives. She then did a quick turn so she could back up into the missiles, running over more operatives. 

“It seems to me the vault system has taken its sweet time to raise the missiles. Get moving and get shooting!” Agent 14 buzzed in. “There’s a few empty slots in the Chernobog, just slide them in! You’re up shit’s creek without a paddle, so go make one!”

“I’m here, guys, get to putting in those missiles!” Ayla screamed over the gunfire. Rick started pushing one of the missiles into the back of the Chernobog from jumping on the scaffold.

“Oh, fuck, helis!” Darryl yelled, taking out an RPG and firing. 

“Go, go, go!” Ayla screamed as she duck and shot. Tim ran back to push the other ICBM inside.

“Hold your fire, there’s our ICBM’s there!” A Merryweather guard shouted.

“Mendoza’s been hit, he’s been fucking hit!” Another screamed, “Keep going!”

“Well shit, since when did they care about friendly fire?” Rick grunted, pushing in the ICBM into the slot, “C’mon, click, click. Ow!” Instead of the clicking sound he expected, he heard a thud as the missile nestled right in. “Tim, it’s supposed to make a noise as it slides in, let me help!” He then helped Tim with the other missile.

Ayla desperately ate her P’s and Q’s as she made a few more body shots. “Who’s gonna get into the insurgent?”

“Me!” Tim yelled, just pushing in the last ICBM. He ran off, jumped off the docks, and started swimming.

“Fantastic, the ICBM’s are secure, go put them in the Kosatkas and start running! I said this once and I’ll say this again: pressure can turn shit into diamonds but it also can turn diamonds into dust!” Agent 14 buzzed in.

“Do mine first!” Darryl yelled as he called in his Kosatka. Ayla started to back up further until the trailer was hanging off the dock. 

“Okay!” Ayla replied, holding her steering wheel still.

“Assistant One come in, Assistant One,” Agent 14 buzzed in again.

“I’m… I’m here,” the assistant meekly replied, huddled against the bulletproof glass holding his laptop, “I hear gunshots. I’ve been calling Pegasus to drop Dumps.” He was choking back tears and shaking, “I don’t like this…”

“You can do this, you’re brave,” Agent 14 struggled to hold any professionalism, “Don’t do anything rash or stupid, they can smell it!”

“Oh... okay?”

“Pavel coming in, kapitan!” Pavel radioed in, “Opening storage bay, let her in!” He backed the Kosatka into the port.

“Thanks, bro…” Darryl hopped onto the Kosatka, “You know how to do it, Ayla?”

“Yeah,” She saw the missile panel and the launch settings. She pressed the backwards button and a button corresponding to an ICBM. The ICBM slid out of the trailer and fell into the water with a major splash.

“I see the splash made a great diversion, get it into the kosatka!” Agent 14 spoke again.

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” Darryl spoke, readjusting the Kosatka. The ICBM rolled for a bit until it sunk into the water. Darryl then started to fit the submarine over the rapidly sinking ICBM and then backed it up even further to get it into the moon pool. “Pavel, it’s in!”

“Closing storage bay, kapitan!” Pavel replied, “Ooof, this reminds me of my ex-wife a little!” The submarine shook as it sucked in the missile. Pavel and Darryl felt a rumble of the door closing. “It’s in, yes? Drive like a mad man, kapitan!” Darryl then booked it, racing south and using the periscope to take down multiple helicopters.

“One ICBM out, one more to go. Let’s confuse these losers!” Agent 14 radioed in. Rick jumped in shotgun with Ayla and Tim raced in with the insurgent. They blasted out of Merryweather HQ and into the freeway. Rick called in his Kosatka at Paleto Bay.

“Focus, Ayla, focus…” She muttered to herself, constantly readjusting the Chernobog.

“I got this, just keep driving,” Rick reassured her, putting a hand on her shoulder before firing an RPG.

“Don’t you want to use the missile system, Rick?”

“No, we’re not at that point, Ayla,” He gave a few more shots with his RPG. She drove faster in response, feeling the mass of the vehicle. After a few bumps and turns in the road, they were at Chumash.

“Stop it, Tim!” Ayla whined as she felt the insurgent nudge against her.

“Sorry, but there’s a freaking helicopter behind us!” Tim yelled back, clumsily using the machine gun at the top. “There!” He gunned it down and then trailed behind the Chernobog. 

“Thank you!”

“Darryl, what’s the sitrep?” Rick called.

“It’s getting better, bless these missiles,” Darryl answered, “Thank god they’re fading.”

“Lucky you, they don’t stop coming and they don’t stop coming,” Rick sighed, landing a few shots.

“Change of plans!” Agent 14 radioed in, clearly panicked, “Insurgent, go get your assistant at Merryweather HQ! Chernobog, keep going to Kosatka!”

“What!?” Tim, Ayla, and Rick shouted.

“Insurgent, I’ve pinged you the exact location of your assistant, go! Go, GO! He’s been kidnapped! I tried to contact him but he only contacted me by text! I don’t understand it but get him the hell out of there!” Tim immediately did the sharpest U-turn anyone has seen and floored it backwards. They were at Fort Zancudo. “He isn’t like any of you so please make it fast!”   


“Oh my god,” Ayla gasped, “Oh my god, we’re still five stars! How are we still FIVE STARS!” She started shrieking, flooring the Chernobog even faster than before. “Oh dear god,  **susmaryosep** , no, no…” She started hyperventilating as she entered the tunnel.

“Ayla, come back to me!” Rick yelled, grabbing her shoulders. She froze, unable to hold the steering wheel. He took over as she started crying.

“ **Ang dibdib ko** …” Ayla spoke through tears.

“Breathe…” Rick kept a cool head, “We can get through this.” He pushed her shaking hands back onto the steering wheel. “Just, c’mon, one, two…” They exited the tunnel to see more Merryweather and cops descending on them. Ayla took slow breaths and her hands kept shaking. She had a blank stare towards the steering wheel.

“ **Hindi puede ko** …” Ayla spoke catatonically. The Chernobog slowed down dramatically.

“Ayla, come on, we can get through this. There’s not much distance left to cover!” Rick kept shooting.

Yet the Chernobog kept slowing down.

Ironically, Rick started to get headshots now that he wasn’t moving so much. Ayla still was muttering in Tagalog and catatonic.

A few downed helicopters later, they faced the bridge over the water.

A few cop cars rammed them from behind, but it didn’t stop them.

The Chernobog came to a complete stop. Gunfire continued to rage on.

“Ayla, come on…”

“...” She sat motionless, now looking at the road ahead of her.

“Ayla!”

“...”

“Ayla, come on!” Rick’s rage bubbled in his voice.

“...”

“Ayla, for the love of god, please!” He gripped her shoulder.

“...”

“Ayla, please!” He started to scream, “Shit, you can’t shut down like this, not after everything we’ve worked for!”

“...” She blinked.

“For fuck’s sake…”

“...”

“No…” He shot a flare in the air, “Darryl, Ayla’s having an anxiety attack. If the heat’s off of you, please help her.”

“...”

“Let me drive.”

“...No.” Ayla muttered her first word.

“...What?” Rick stopped shooting to look at her, “Are you done?”

“Watch out!” Ayla shouted with an authoritative energy, “Keep shooting, Rick!” She floored her Chernobog across the rest of the bridge and into the start off Paleto Bay.

“Ayla, missile!”

“Got it!” She barked, finally retuning the missile system. She launched a rocket from the console and kept going. 

However, she was too late. A group of Merryweather vans tackled her Chernobog into the bay, flipping it over. 

“Shit!” She screamed, “Oh no, no, no, no, no… Fuck…” She tried to maneuver the vehicle only to realize she was shit out of luck. The Chernobog was twisted and upside down, with the front completely flipped and the trailer somewhat twisted.

“Fuck,” Rick roared, “This is worse than when it was in the ravine! I’m going to drive my sub.” He leapt out, running then swimming to his Kosatka, which couldn’t have been more than a mile away. The good part in all of this was that the Chernobog was somewhat submerged. With nothing but adrenaline and panic in her veins, she used the missile system to her advantage. Those close to her got a taste of her micro SMG. It was now down to her surviving to ensure the last ICBM was out of Merryweather’s hands.

“And now the Chernobog is upside-down… You fix it!” Agent 14 groaned in frustration.

Tim had a comparatively breezy drive back to Merryweather HQ. He was eating Meteorites and using the machine guns to keep people off. He really hated cars and wished for his motorcycle. But he had to stop thinking about it because he had to find the assistant. It was still crawling with Merryweather, as if they never attacked.

It was quite frankly annoying.

He wove in and out of the docks, seeing no one friendly and just a cargobob. He circled around the warehouse, still seeing no one. He decided to ram into the warehouse to see an empty corner and multiple enemies in the water. He used his rifle scope to take a closer look.

The assistant was cowering the corner, crying and holding a Up-N-Atomizer. He was literally pushing people out with it. Tim’s eyes widened and he immediately ran himself in front of the assistant. “Ayo dude what the fuck, get in!” Tim called out to him, briefly rolling out his window before rolling it up again.

The assistant went inside the insurgent without any hesitation. He then manned the machine gun while Tim rapidly took off.

“Dude, why are you there man?” Tim asked the assistant, “You sure you don’t wanna chill man? You sound really traumatized, bro.” He then called Rick, “Darryl’s too far to hear, so Imma provide you backup! Just got the assistant man.” He then called Agent 14, “I got your homie.”

“Good!” Agent 14 let out a sigh of relief, “Drive him to my waypoint and then help the others!”

“I’m gonna drive you to Chumash, alright?” Tim spoke to the assistant again, “Also where did you get that Up-N-Atomizer?”

“...Your gun locker, boss,” The assistant sounded stunned, just gripping the machine gun and looking onward.

“Oh, okay, man. Not gonna judge you for wanting fresh air.” He then heard machine gun noises, “Oh, okay, you wanna help? You don’t gotta do that man, that ain’t your job.” He then heard a few cars explode. And then a helicopter fell behind them. “You okay, my man?”

“I AM NOT OKAY!” The assistant snapped, “I WAS KIDNAPPED FROM THE CEO TOWER BY MERRYWEATHER, THROWN INTO AN INSURGENT, HAD A GUN TO MY HEAD, AND THEN THEY TRIED TO TIE ME UP! I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT! I NOW HAVE A FEW DEATHS ON MY HANDS BECAUSE I DECIDED TO DEFEND MYSELF. AND I TOOK THE MOST EXOTIC GUN FROM THE GUN LOCKER. I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO BE SIMPLE HEIST WHERE YOU TAKE MISSILES AWAY FROM MERRYWEATHER. BUT NO, MERRYWEATHER TRACKS MY ASS AND KIDNAPS ME. ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS TO MAKE MONEY WITH MY IAA BOYFRIEND. IS THAT HARD TO ASK? LIKE IS LOS SANTOS SO DIFFICULT THAT BEING NEAR DEATH IS A UNIVERSAL JOB EXPERIENCE? AND THEN I’M SURROUNDED BY BOSSES WHO HAS THE EMOTIONAL CAPACITY OF A ROCK, A LETHALLY ANNOYING KLUTZ, A POSSIBLE BIGOT, AND NOW A ZOOMER!  **Chingado** !” He slammed his hands on the machine gun.

“ **Hǎo de** ,” Tim simply replied as he drove to the Chumash shore. “And here he is.” Agent 14 appeared in an armored Kuruma. Tim was expecting a lovey dovey scene but instead the assistant leapt out of the insurgent gun and threw himself into the Kuruma.

“Oh thank god you’re okay…” Agent 14 said languidly, “Just relax now, I’m going to take you to the facility.”

“Fuck this, I’m shooting!” The assistant roared, shooting a car with the Up-N-Atomizer, “ **Hijo de puta** !”

“Oh, okay, you can do that…” Agent 14 nervously laughed. Tim drove away shaking his head.

Ayla started to deploy the ICBM into Rick’s Kosatka. Rick drove it to the point that it was directly facing the trailer.

“Come on, baby…” Rick stood by the ICBM, slowly pushing into the cargo bay. Ayla was pressing the buttons like a madman, because Merryweather was not letting up. The ICBM was halfway in when the Chernobog was smoking. About three-quarters of the way in, there were sparks coming out. Eighty percent, there was a tiny flame.

But out of nowhere came Darryl in his MKII Oppressor. He started to fire rockets at people left and right.

But it didn’t stop the emerging fire coming out of the Chernobog. And Ayla ran out of missiles.

Then Tim came in time, popping up like a gopher on his parked insurgent and giving more firepower. Unfortunately, some bullets hit the Chernobog and Ayla had to escape. Luckily the ICBM was snugly in, so she went into the Kosatka and drove it out. Rick closed the cargo bay fast. He raced to the control panel and took over the driving. Ayla went onto the periscope and contributed. The blast of the Chernobog propelled the Kosatka forward into the ocean, but scuffed Tim’s insurgent. 

After a long rain of hellfire from the Balla Bees, Merryweather backed off after Rick drove the Kosatka to a naval buyer. Tired and disoriented, the crew called a taxi after they waited for Rick to drive back.

Heist Passed! But challenge voided because there was just too much emotional weight to this heist man…

The Balla Bees earned five million dollars total from that heist, but they split it equally amongst themselves so they got around a million each. They were now at the facility, toasting and drinking champagne, in normal and fancy clothing. The men were in three piece suits and Ayla wore a purple cheongsam with gold trim. 

_ What’s up danger? _

While Agent 14 and the assistant got busy in the living quarters. Where the assistant wanted to be top and then proceeded to fuck Agent 14 into the mattress. Agent 14 laid stunned while the assistant snuggled next to him. He let out a contented purr.

“Whoa…” Agent 14 and a few agents close to their room only had that to say.

_ A few months later… _

The Balla Bees were celebrating Agent 14 and the assistant’s six month anniversary. They had a small party with cake and alcohol. Ayla set off some poppers. The assistant flinched so she stopped. Rick was serving mojitos and Darryl was in charge of the music. 

“Congrats on the six months, you guys!” The entire crew said, clapping. The couple blushed and crumpled into each other. They slowly recovered.

“You didn’t have to do this for us!” Agent 14 gave a dismissive hand wave.

“Yeah, it’s nothing much, but I’m glad you did this for us, bosses,” The assistant added on.

“Well, we felt obligated to because we set you up,” Ayla said.

“Technically,” Rick corrected, “And over some paperwork too.”

“And you work for us too.” Darryl finished.

“Ayooooo we got some package,” Tim came into the apartment holding a pink and red package.

“Hmmmm,” Ayla said, “Open it.” And so Tim did. Disposing of the wrapping, it was a pink box. Setting it on the table, he opened the box. In it was a letter and some red tissue paper.

Tim read the letter, “Dear my associates, it has come to my attention that a certain IAA agent has found himself with a certain SecuroServ employee. It has also come to my attention that you guys had robbed Merryweather again. I am writing to congratulate you on your endeavors and to congratulate that IAA agent on the relationship. I am proud of you all. Enjoy these cookies from Georgina. Please be gentle, this is her first time making them from scratch. Regards, L.” He shrugged his shoulders and peeled back the red tissue paper. It was a bunch of chocolate chip cookies. Everyone got a cookie and started eating.

Until everyone was coughing and gagging. Ayla spat into a napkin and threw it away. Rick ate the cookie but drank two mojitos to mask the taste. Darryl threw his cookie away but wiped his tongue with a paper towel. Tim spat it out and gargled mouthwash. Agent 14 got a drink of water and threw the cookie off a balcony. The assistant threw the cookie in the garbage disposal.

“Holy shit, those cookies are awful,” Ayla gagged.

“Those cookies do not taste right man,” Darryl added.

“Did she confuse drugs and cookies? Cuz they taste like they came from a drug lab,” Tim coughed.

“Those cookies are hockey pucks. They’re too dry. The chocolate is the only good part here,” Rick kept a poker face.

“How do you fuck up chocolate cookies? How?” Agent 14 started to throw another cookie off the balcony.

“If her cookies are this bad, she belongs to the gulag, boss,” the assistant said flatly.

“Agreed,” Everyone laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations (Tagalog, Chinese, and Spainish):  
>  **“Hayop ka!” “Boba ka na!” “Ang swerte naman!” “Putang ina mo!”** = “You animal! You’re stupid! You are lucky! Fuck your mom”  
>  **Susmaryosep** = Jesus, Mary, and Joesph  
>  **Ang dibdib ko** = My heart  
>  **Hindi puede ko** = I can’t  
>  **Chingado!** = Bastard  
>  **Hǎo de** = **好的** = Okay  
>  **Hijo de puta!** = Son of a bitch

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Jesus fuck I didn’t expect this to spiral into a whole ass heist with a serious ass story with OC’s of color. I just wanted to write Agent 14 and male!assistant from the CEO building getting together. I just thought it’d be cute because they’re sporty and ambitious, and that makes for a nice crack fic with a crack ship. Maybe it’s all the GTAO I played with my friends (thank you pandemic). As a note, I’m Filipina myself just to set up some context here. I hope you enjoyed reading this labor of love and please if you want more stories like this, I am up for commissions! I’m gonna go farm Cayo Perico now.


End file.
